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Another development, another update. Oy.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 616619" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Re: The Dream of the Red Dresses. </p><p></p><p>What was the key, Recovering? What did it look like, where was it hanging or hidden away? </p><p></p><p>How did you find it?</p><p></p><p>Was the hand with which you unlocked the door your adult hand, or your child hand? Or was it the hand of your grandmother? </p><p></p><p>*****</p><p></p><p>I love the quote. I believe it is true.</p><p></p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>In rereading the thread this morning, it occurs to me that the anger you have mentioned as part of your awakening Recovering, and that I am coping with as the most intense and remarkable constant in my own process, is come of fear for the vulnerable new aspects of self and legitimacy being rebirthed. Shut down as the horrifying result of whatever the incident of abuse entailed, we taught ourselves (or were taught, in the most graphic ways) that we had no right to self-define, to expect decency or respect or even, kindness. We are standing for and protecting ourselves now, Recovering. Probably facing down the internal abuser on all levels. No wonder we are short tempered, lately.</p><p></p><p>Well, I am, for sure.</p><p></p><p>The anger we feel is normal. It is so prickly sometimes that I don't even know what to make of myself. </p><p></p><p>Learning how to listen and accept and respond to it appropriately is our task. Our "practice", ala that Buddhist monk, if you will.</p><p> </p><p>We are creating, now, safe places for these newly rebirthed aspects of self to take root, and to grow.</p><p></p><p>How cool is that?</p><p></p><p>Thank goodness. Though I am feeling better about things, this morning? I was beginning to wonder whether I was turning into a total biatch. Anger at things I have taken for granted for so long seems to be my go to response, these days! </p><p></p><p>Awakening...something to savor.</p><p></p><p>Like a pregnancy, or really spicy food. We can go through this part with our eyes open and our senses fully engaged, laughing and celebrating and being surprised and sometimes, horrified at our angers and times of darkness, or we can close our eyes and hang on until the ride slows and then, stops.</p><p></p><p>Either way, we are going, going, gone.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>*********</p><p></p><p>Another dream, Recovering. This one recent. I have shared it, before.</p><p></p><p>Flying through the night SO FAST. Landing, so hard.</p><p></p><p>I lived. I was fine. I got to where I needed to be before the sun rose.</p><p></p><p>*******************</p><p></p><p>Red dresses, baby to adult size, kept in a matriarch's closet.... </p><p></p><p>Interesting that so much of what I do has to do with wind and water and yours, with passionate color. </p><p></p><p>Fire, then.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 616619, member: 17461"] Re: The Dream of the Red Dresses. What was the key, Recovering? What did it look like, where was it hanging or hidden away? How did you find it? Was the hand with which you unlocked the door your adult hand, or your child hand? Or was it the hand of your grandmother? ***** I love the quote. I believe it is true. ******* In rereading the thread this morning, it occurs to me that the anger you have mentioned as part of your awakening Recovering, and that I am coping with as the most intense and remarkable constant in my own process, is come of fear for the vulnerable new aspects of self and legitimacy being rebirthed. Shut down as the horrifying result of whatever the incident of abuse entailed, we taught ourselves (or were taught, in the most graphic ways) that we had no right to self-define, to expect decency or respect or even, kindness. We are standing for and protecting ourselves now, Recovering. Probably facing down the internal abuser on all levels. No wonder we are short tempered, lately. Well, I am, for sure. The anger we feel is normal. It is so prickly sometimes that I don't even know what to make of myself. Learning how to listen and accept and respond to it appropriately is our task. Our "practice", ala that Buddhist monk, if you will. We are creating, now, safe places for these newly rebirthed aspects of self to take root, and to grow. How cool is that? Thank goodness. Though I am feeling better about things, this morning? I was beginning to wonder whether I was turning into a total biatch. Anger at things I have taken for granted for so long seems to be my go to response, these days! Awakening...something to savor. Like a pregnancy, or really spicy food. We can go through this part with our eyes open and our senses fully engaged, laughing and celebrating and being surprised and sometimes, horrified at our angers and times of darkness, or we can close our eyes and hang on until the ride slows and then, stops. Either way, we are going, going, gone. :O) ********* Another dream, Recovering. This one recent. I have shared it, before. Flying through the night SO FAST. Landing, so hard. I lived. I was fine. I got to where I needed to be before the sun rose. ******************* Red dresses, baby to adult size, kept in a matriarch's closet.... Interesting that so much of what I do has to do with wind and water and yours, with passionate color. Fire, then. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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