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Parent Emeritus
Another development, another update. Oy.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 617126" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I wonder whether people abused as kids have that template of the all-knowing parent (which is certainly what, out of their own senses of weakness, our abusive parents demanded that we believe) so firmly ingrained that we feel a little inadequate to every new set of circumstances simply because we are not displaying the certainty our abusive parents taught us was appropriate to the parenting role?</p><p></p><p>But they were wrong in this teaching too, Recovering. Abusing their own children, steeping us in the learned reality of power over...this is something we have to examine and heal, too. Could there be a more perfect way, a more perfect place and time, for you to practice remaining right there, right on the edge where things are most uncertain and growth can happen than where you are, now?</p><p></p><p>We wrote so often about the way things seem custom-tailored for our growth.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>No one knows the "right" thing, the right way to go. No one can predict the future or even, really know what happened in the past or even, sometimes, what is happening right in front of us, in the now.</p><p></p><p>That is the truth. Not that stuff our parents wanted us to believe about how powerful they were. They no longer hold the power of life and death over us, Recovering.</p><p></p><p>And that was the only power they ever had.</p><p></p><p>We lived.</p><p></p><p>True power lies in flexibility, in present moment engagement, in coming into every opportunity with our eyes open and our senses of playfulnes and curiosity and integrity and sanctity fully engaged. Happy? Sad? Right? Wrong? It's all a question of perception. Change how we see, and the world changes.</p><p></p><p>That you don't claim to know, that you are taking all this on (and it is a great, big, wonderful thing your granddaughter is doing) with your eyes open, that you are admitting frustration and happiness and need of an ally to validate reality is a triumph of the first order.</p><p></p><p>Good, good, good for you and for me, Recovering! Trust that all things are working as they should, not just in times of uncertainty, but in all times. Remain present. That is all we have to do. Everything else will take care of itself. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 617126, member: 17461"] I wonder whether people abused as kids have that template of the all-knowing parent (which is certainly what, out of their own senses of weakness, our abusive parents demanded that we believe) so firmly ingrained that we feel a little inadequate to every new set of circumstances simply because we are not displaying the certainty our abusive parents taught us was appropriate to the parenting role? But they were wrong in this teaching too, Recovering. Abusing their own children, steeping us in the learned reality of power over...this is something we have to examine and heal, too. Could there be a more perfect way, a more perfect place and time, for you to practice remaining right there, right on the edge where things are most uncertain and growth can happen than where you are, now? We wrote so often about the way things seem custom-tailored for our growth. :O) No one knows the "right" thing, the right way to go. No one can predict the future or even, really know what happened in the past or even, sometimes, what is happening right in front of us, in the now. That is the truth. Not that stuff our parents wanted us to believe about how powerful they were. They no longer hold the power of life and death over us, Recovering. And that was the only power they ever had. We lived. True power lies in flexibility, in present moment engagement, in coming into every opportunity with our eyes open and our senses of playfulnes and curiosity and integrity and sanctity fully engaged. Happy? Sad? Right? Wrong? It's all a question of perception. Change how we see, and the world changes. That you don't claim to know, that you are taking all this on (and it is a great, big, wonderful thing your granddaughter is doing) with your eyes open, that you are admitting frustration and happiness and need of an ally to validate reality is a triumph of the first order. Good, good, good for you and for me, Recovering! Trust that all things are working as they should, not just in times of uncertainty, but in all times. Remain present. That is all we have to do. Everything else will take care of itself. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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