Another etiquette question

[Shari]

Its too late, cause I already did it, but...I still want to ask.

I'm guessing its "bad".

My ex-in-law's have a milestone anniversary today. I ordered flowers to have delivered today to their home. Their very good friends, who also have a milestone anniversary this month, had a celebration today. A quartet the husband sings with at 6, followed by a dj and dance at 8.

At Wee's ballgame earlier this week, exMIL mentioned that it kinda stung that these folks haven't even mentioned their anniversary (tho they did NOT want a party) even tho their party is on THE DAY of their anniversary.

So...my friend, the cafe owner, called me at 8. The guys from the flower shop were there. They had tried to call me at home and couldn't get ahold of me, but they also had not been able to catch exMIL at home ALL DAY, so they had not made the delivery. I talked to cafe owner/friend a bit, and we decided, given exMIL's "sting", to just tell them to deliver the flowers to the party. By that time, the dj should have been in full swing, and hopefully it wasn't too much of a disruption. And if it was, well...maybe it would prompt a few folks to share a "happy anniversary" with the exInLaws, too.

Now, i'm thinking I maybe shouldn't have done that. I dunno. Its done, I really don't think the other couple would care (and we were invited to the party but couldn't go because we were at the shoot), they are friends, too....but? What would you have done? I didn't break the bank, but I didn't send a cheap bouquet, either...my only other option, really, was to leave it til Monday, and these guys had already spent 5 extra hours trying to deliver their creation.

 

[1905]

Even if their very good friends were "miffed" (but they most likely weren't), it OK, because it brought joy tenfold to your ex-in-law's. The good friends had their own thunder and I'm sure didn't mind your in-laws "stealing" some of it. Trust me, you did something good, kind and thoughtful! I'm sure they would want everyone to share in their happiness. No worries!

 

[JJJ]

You must be in a small town. In our town, they would have either left it at a neighbor's or stuck a note on their door to call when they got home.

It reminds me of visiting my aunt and uncle in their small town in Arkansas. (before cell phones). My uncle ran to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. My aunt forgot to put something on the list so she called the store.

And over the loud speaker:
"Jimmy Ray, your missus called. She needs you to get 3 of those jugs of the apple juice that your little Tessie likes to drink. And your mama wants some vanilla ice cream, but only if it's on sale."

 

[HaoZi]

I think you did good, it's not like you didn't try to have them delivered to exMIL at home to start with.

 

[keista]

Sorry, I disagree with the others. Flowers should not have been sent to somebody else's party.

However, it's done, and if there is any drama fallout, just explain that they tried delivering all day and asked for an alternate place to deliver the flowers, and you KNEW she was at the party. That fact that these party ppl hadn't even acknowledged your mother in law's anniversary, indicates some self absorption. OR they could have been keeping an acknowledgment a surprise and mentioned it at the party.

I'm curious to know how it all worked out?

 

[Shari]

Keista, I think I mostly agree with you. If exMIL hadn't said what she did about them not acknowledging their anniversary and knowing them, I probably wouldn't have done it (not sure what I would have done then, tho).
I don't think exmil's phone is working. So not even sure they got the flowers yet!

 

[keista]

The big X factor is this other couple. I've seen even the most kind, generous, caring, sharing ppl get miffed when they perceive their thunder being stolen. I truly hope this did not happen. I've also seen ppl "share" their event with a guest as a surprise.

Again, what's done is done. Hopefully all went well (keeping fingers crossed), if not, some gracious apologies are in order. Either way, don't fret about it until you get the full scoop. You were in quite the pickle and I probably would have done the same thing (yes, even knowing that I shouldn't).

 

[Shari]

Yes, if they are miffed, I will explain and apologize, for sure!
If I wasn't in a position that I couldn't leave, I would have gone and unlocked the house and just left them on the table. But I couldn't leave.

 

[donna723]

I would have been afraid that if the flowers were delivered to the party, the other couple would think they were for them!

 

[Shari]

No the guys delivering know everyone, so they would make sure they got to the right people.
Turns out it would have been fine. The other couple didn't 'do' anything suprising for exinlaws, but they did make an announcement and thanked them for sharing their day.
Turns out, tho, exinlaws spent the day visiting the place they were married and had a truly great day. So much so, they didn't go to the other party until late - after the flower guys had tried to deliver them there! Lol. So she still doesn't have her flowers! Lol

 

[Shari]

And we now know her cell phone isn't working. I will be helping her get a new one this week.

 

[DDD]

Good for you and here's one to the "good ole boys who know everyone in town". I'm hoping the response is positive.
We had a grocery store like that in "sophisticated" Coral Gables. All the customers were known to the staff and it was not unusal to get calls or messages from home...before the cell phone days. Not only that but you could charge your groceries and pay at the end of the month. Gezz...there' s no place like home. Dorothy was right, lol. DDD

 

[Shari]

I still 'mostly' live there...and I love it.

 

[Hound dog]

Aww Shari that was both sweet and very thoughtful of you.