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Another fun topic, Funeral's?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 80066" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I had not been to a funeral until a friend committed suicide at Christmas my first year away at college. The funeral was closed casket by necessity. I had a horrible time with it. I eventually realized how upset I was and got some grief counselling. Much of my problem was anger because my friend did not reach out and grab the help many of us offered to him. </p><p></p><p>When I was in high school the lady who owned the bookstore that I worked in died. I will call her Mrs. A for this.Her grandchildren had children. My gift to the family was to stay at the house during the funeral and watch the children. I had 2 infants (both about 6 mos old, not twins), 2 little boys about 5 and a 10yo boy. The 10yo had originally said he wanted to go to the funeral, then he just couldn't handle it. I had babysat these children from time to time in the bookstore, so I was not stranger to them. I had visited Mrs A in the hospital many times the previous months. I had said my goodbye, and really felt I could help the family more by babysitting than by going to the funeral. </p><p></p><p>When my own gpa died I was 13. We had just moved to our new home in a new state, where my folks both had new jobs. $$$ was really tight. My bro insisted on going. I said I could go, if needed, but I was NOT going to the open casket viewing part. My gpa had ASKED me to remember him the way he was when we were sitting on the dock in the middle of hte night pretending to fish. It was during my last visit with him that he asked me specifically not to go to the funeral. My parents respected my wish and my bro's wish. It was difficult, but dad stayed with me and mom took bro to the funeral in another state. My bro was angry with me for many years for not going to the funeral. It took quite a lot of work to get though this, but we did.</p><p></p><p>in my humble opinion, every family is different. Will having your children their help you? Them? Distract you? Upset others? I don't have the answers, but your instincts will show you the way.</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 80066, member: 1233"] I had not been to a funeral until a friend committed suicide at Christmas my first year away at college. The funeral was closed casket by necessity. I had a horrible time with it. I eventually realized how upset I was and got some grief counselling. Much of my problem was anger because my friend did not reach out and grab the help many of us offered to him. When I was in high school the lady who owned the bookstore that I worked in died. I will call her Mrs. A for this.Her grandchildren had children. My gift to the family was to stay at the house during the funeral and watch the children. I had 2 infants (both about 6 mos old, not twins), 2 little boys about 5 and a 10yo boy. The 10yo had originally said he wanted to go to the funeral, then he just couldn't handle it. I had babysat these children from time to time in the bookstore, so I was not stranger to them. I had visited Mrs A in the hospital many times the previous months. I had said my goodbye, and really felt I could help the family more by babysitting than by going to the funeral. When my own gpa died I was 13. We had just moved to our new home in a new state, where my folks both had new jobs. $$$ was really tight. My bro insisted on going. I said I could go, if needed, but I was NOT going to the open casket viewing part. My gpa had ASKED me to remember him the way he was when we were sitting on the dock in the middle of hte night pretending to fish. It was during my last visit with him that he asked me specifically not to go to the funeral. My parents respected my wish and my bro's wish. It was difficult, but dad stayed with me and mom took bro to the funeral in another state. My bro was angry with me for many years for not going to the funeral. It took quite a lot of work to get though this, but we did. in my humble opinion, every family is different. Will having your children their help you? Them? Distract you? Upset others? I don't have the answers, but your instincts will show you the way. Susie [/QUOTE]
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