Steely
Active Member
Thanks again.
Kitty, thanks for that insight. Truthfully, for the first time in my life, I can really see how that could happen. If one was unstable at the time of their loved ones death, you could let these feelings completely take over you. The interesting thing is that we all still have them - it is just whether we let them take over us.
Yes the toxicology reports came back negative, however, she had been in the water for 2 weeks, so chemicals that may have been in her body would have evaporated.
M was in the car when H. got out and ran, catching a bus. I figured out the bruises on her arms were from M trying to restrain her from getting on the bus. Still not sure about the puncture wound on her inner elbow, but since there was no evidence of a needle mark, perhaps it was also from M restraining H.
I talked to my counselor today, and she told me that it is actually really, really common for the widow to start an affair with the best friend or sister/brother after the victim's death. It happens more than ones cares to realize. I think this is what has happened with A and M, although I could be mistaken - it all lines up. As far as this being the catalyst in her death, I still don't know.
I believe H wants me to stand up to my parents and insist that any profit of her estate is to be used for H.'s foundation that was set up. And that I will do. Beyond that, I feel strongly that H. wants me to find peace, and stop fighting. I have fought for justice, and for my loved ones to not be victims every moment of my life. The details I will spare you, but you guys know.
I truly believe I am not supposed to fight anymore. But rather take care of myself and move on, and find happiness. The problem with that, is that message is in my soul, not my being. Every day I wake up ready to fight every injustice that comes my way - every single thing. Whether it is for co-workers, animals, other victims, or my family - it is in my blood. I am really not sure if I can not do this.
Perhaps it will be just finding a balance. Finding a career where I am an advocate for the homeless or abuse victims - but in my own personal life I am at peace. Or maybe it will just require me finishing my book. Perhaps that will quelch my being's need to have a voice. Or maybe I will be able to let it all go.
Death cannot even be called pain. It should be called an exorcism.
Kitty, thanks for that insight. Truthfully, for the first time in my life, I can really see how that could happen. If one was unstable at the time of their loved ones death, you could let these feelings completely take over you. The interesting thing is that we all still have them - it is just whether we let them take over us.
Yes the toxicology reports came back negative, however, she had been in the water for 2 weeks, so chemicals that may have been in her body would have evaporated.
M was in the car when H. got out and ran, catching a bus. I figured out the bruises on her arms were from M trying to restrain her from getting on the bus. Still not sure about the puncture wound on her inner elbow, but since there was no evidence of a needle mark, perhaps it was also from M restraining H.
I talked to my counselor today, and she told me that it is actually really, really common for the widow to start an affair with the best friend or sister/brother after the victim's death. It happens more than ones cares to realize. I think this is what has happened with A and M, although I could be mistaken - it all lines up. As far as this being the catalyst in her death, I still don't know.
I believe H wants me to stand up to my parents and insist that any profit of her estate is to be used for H.'s foundation that was set up. And that I will do. Beyond that, I feel strongly that H. wants me to find peace, and stop fighting. I have fought for justice, and for my loved ones to not be victims every moment of my life. The details I will spare you, but you guys know.
I truly believe I am not supposed to fight anymore. But rather take care of myself and move on, and find happiness. The problem with that, is that message is in my soul, not my being. Every day I wake up ready to fight every injustice that comes my way - every single thing. Whether it is for co-workers, animals, other victims, or my family - it is in my blood. I am really not sure if I can not do this.
Perhaps it will be just finding a balance. Finding a career where I am an advocate for the homeless or abuse victims - but in my own personal life I am at peace. Or maybe it will just require me finishing my book. Perhaps that will quelch my being's need to have a voice. Or maybe I will be able to let it all go.
Death cannot even be called pain. It should be called an exorcism.
