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Another letter from father!-- not opening this one!
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622142" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>husband and I are like, one person in so many ways. It's irritating and cool and familiar and stifling, all at once. My favorite thing in all the world is to sleep with him right in our own bed.</p><p></p><p>And, unlike that lucky BITS? I do mean sleep.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>We talk all the time, but we don't usually have to. We are getting old together now, and that's kind of a horrifyingly hilarious thing, too. difficult child troubles can bring a depth of intimacy that would have been impossible to reach for or sustain, I think. In a way, it's scary. We even talk about that ~ about what it will be like when one or the other of us is gone. husband swears he's had enough of women and will never remarry. I tell him he'll be married again in a New York minute and that <u>I</u> am the one who's had it with marriage. </p><p></p><p>We even get a little miffed about it.</p><p></p><p>How crazy is this?</p><p></p><p>That's what I mean, about the intimacy being too scary. </p><p></p><p>I like the idea of starting a thread about difficult children and marriage and survival or loss. I think that, had we not broken through those barriers each of us erects to protect ourselves from the pain of personal failure (which is what it feels like to have a difficult child child ~ that <u>we</u> have failed, that <u>we</u> are responsible for our child's suffering) then husband and I would have lost our marriage.</p><p></p><p>I know so many people who are on their second or third marriages. (husband was divorced when I met him. I have been married to husband since I was twenty.) They seem much nicer to one another than we are to each other ~ except that we are just always connected somehow. It would be like opening the door for yourself. We have been through that whole I-am-an-independent-woman-I-can-open-my-own-door thing and back again. You should see us at the door to a restaurant! Ha! No one knows who should open the stupid door and there's always this flurry of "I will ~ no, <u>I</u> will."</p><p></p><p>It's a wonder we ever get inside, at all.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>That's my story.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622142, member: 17461"] husband and I are like, one person in so many ways. It's irritating and cool and familiar and stifling, all at once. My favorite thing in all the world is to sleep with him right in our own bed. And, unlike that lucky BITS? I do mean sleep. :O) We talk all the time, but we don't usually have to. We are getting old together now, and that's kind of a horrifyingly hilarious thing, too. difficult child troubles can bring a depth of intimacy that would have been impossible to reach for or sustain, I think. In a way, it's scary. We even talk about that ~ about what it will be like when one or the other of us is gone. husband swears he's had enough of women and will never remarry. I tell him he'll be married again in a New York minute and that [U]I[/U] am the one who's had it with marriage. We even get a little miffed about it. How crazy is this? That's what I mean, about the intimacy being too scary. I like the idea of starting a thread about difficult children and marriage and survival or loss. I think that, had we not broken through those barriers each of us erects to protect ourselves from the pain of personal failure (which is what it feels like to have a difficult child child ~ that [U]we[/U] have failed, that [U]we[/U] are responsible for our child's suffering) then husband and I would have lost our marriage. I know so many people who are on their second or third marriages. (husband was divorced when I met him. I have been married to husband since I was twenty.) They seem much nicer to one another than we are to each other ~ except that we are just always connected somehow. It would be like opening the door for yourself. We have been through that whole I-am-an-independent-woman-I-can-open-my-own-door thing and back again. You should see us at the door to a restaurant! Ha! No one knows who should open the stupid door and there's always this flurry of "I will ~ no, [U]I[/U] will." It's a wonder we ever get inside, at all. :O) That's my story. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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