Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Another letter from father!-- not opening this one!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BackintheSaddle" data-source="post: 623419" data-attributes="member: 17503"><p>I updated another thread with the fact that I got yet another letter from my father on Friday...the way it was addressed was upsetting so I returned it unopened...I sent difficult child an email to tell him-- I've kept him out of this in hopes of not putting him in the middle but I think he's already there since he's living with those mean people...as Cedar says below, it does seem like my father is getting more desperate to figure out how to control me and do things his way (so he doesn't have to pay for difficult child's college I suppose)...</p><p> </p><p>Your abuser is getting a little desperate, I think. Just as we've learned to expect escalation from our difficult child kids, we can expect our abusers to up the ante, too.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Read more: <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/recommendations.56698/page-2#ixzz2xPShypeH" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/recommendations.56698/page-2#ixzz2xPShypeH</a></p><p></p><p>that's exactly what I was thinking today and husband is worried about...father will get that letter returned on Monday so what will he do next?...you see, he controls every other person in my family...my sister is 47, married with 3 nearly grown kids-- does not work and her husband lost his job more than a year ago...my father not only bought them a house outright 5 years ago (when I still wasn't in communication with anyone) that they have since charged against the credit to buy things (and father has no clue of this)...and in he meantime, for more than a year, he's been giving them at least $2000/month to cover them...so since all this happened, my sister and I aren't talking either because she's at risk for losing her monthly check if she does-- she'd rather get money from our father than get a job (no, she's not working)...my brother is a pothead and my parents have no clue about that...his life is a mess but they hold him up as their success story because at least they're not paying for his mortgage-- but they pay for his medical bills AND he's 42 and still has their credit card that he uses to buy clothes and things he 'needs'....if my parents knew what their money is really being used for (to pay off debt for my sister on a house they already bought and to pay for drugs), I'm not sure what they'd do, if anything...I've never told them and know they won't believe me anyway...that's part of what drives husband crazy-- to him, I'm their one success story since I work hard, put myself through school, and have never had their support...but to my father, I'm the child he has the least control over and yes, he is desperate to seize that...it's hard not to worry about what that could mean is coming next...he won't give up, obviously...and I think he'd stoop to most anything to get at me...</p><p></p><p>In my email to difficult child, I told him that the bottom line is that I'd love to be a part of his life again and would financially support him but we have to have a relationship that is positive and he has to be willing to put the effort into it to make it so...he hasn't been responding to me for more than 2 weeks...he did reply to the email to say that he'd like to have a relationship too but wants me to apologize...I replied to ask him 'for what'...no response since...no surprise and I guess my father is using him to get to me...wonder what else he's capable of doing to hurt me?</p><p></p><p>Read more: <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/recommendations.56698/page-2#ixzz2xVCjBzOv" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/recommendations.56698/page-2#ixzz2xVCjBzOv</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BackintheSaddle, post: 623419, member: 17503"] I updated another thread with the fact that I got yet another letter from my father on Friday...the way it was addressed was upsetting so I returned it unopened...I sent difficult child an email to tell him-- I've kept him out of this in hopes of not putting him in the middle but I think he's already there since he's living with those mean people...as Cedar says below, it does seem like my father is getting more desperate to figure out how to control me and do things his way (so he doesn't have to pay for difficult child's college I suppose)... Your abuser is getting a little desperate, I think. Just as we've learned to expect escalation from our difficult child kids, we can expect our abusers to up the ante, too. Read more: [url]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/recommendations.56698/page-2#ixzz2xPShypeH[/url] that's exactly what I was thinking today and husband is worried about...father will get that letter returned on Monday so what will he do next?...you see, he controls every other person in my family...my sister is 47, married with 3 nearly grown kids-- does not work and her husband lost his job more than a year ago...my father not only bought them a house outright 5 years ago (when I still wasn't in communication with anyone) that they have since charged against the credit to buy things (and father has no clue of this)...and in he meantime, for more than a year, he's been giving them at least $2000/month to cover them...so since all this happened, my sister and I aren't talking either because she's at risk for losing her monthly check if she does-- she'd rather get money from our father than get a job (no, she's not working)...my brother is a pothead and my parents have no clue about that...his life is a mess but they hold him up as their success story because at least they're not paying for his mortgage-- but they pay for his medical bills AND he's 42 and still has their credit card that he uses to buy clothes and things he 'needs'....if my parents knew what their money is really being used for (to pay off debt for my sister on a house they already bought and to pay for drugs), I'm not sure what they'd do, if anything...I've never told them and know they won't believe me anyway...that's part of what drives husband crazy-- to him, I'm their one success story since I work hard, put myself through school, and have never had their support...but to my father, I'm the child he has the least control over and yes, he is desperate to seize that...it's hard not to worry about what that could mean is coming next...he won't give up, obviously...and I think he'd stoop to most anything to get at me... In my email to difficult child, I told him that the bottom line is that I'd love to be a part of his life again and would financially support him but we have to have a relationship that is positive and he has to be willing to put the effort into it to make it so...he hasn't been responding to me for more than 2 weeks...he did reply to the email to say that he'd like to have a relationship too but wants me to apologize...I replied to ask him 'for what'...no response since...no surprise and I guess my father is using him to get to me...wonder what else he's capable of doing to hurt me? Read more: [url]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/recommendations.56698/page-2#ixzz2xVCjBzOv[/url] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Another letter from father!-- not opening this one!
Top