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Another Lovely Morning ( sarcasim) Soon Custody Battle
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 612917" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>Okay so I am going to be the meanie here. You and your grandfather have not been able to help your son. From what I remember with your daughter she has minimal issues that may even be some form of staying away from difficult child's drama. Your father is having serious medical issues and is not happy with your sons behavior. Your father is having difficulty dealing with your son and therefore you are getting only the support he can afford to give without hurting himself. You are overwhelmed and unable to stop any of the drama.</p><p></p><p>While I don't believe your ex will be able to handle your son without medical help I do believe that your daughter, you, and your father might benefit from some respite. I would recommend that if unless your son will have to change schools that you agree to a trial run. Make it for a specific amount of time and set a hard re evaluation date. Let ex know that if you guys can work as a team you need support and you are willing to help support him as well. It will make the transition easier and to make sure everyone is "OK" with this.</p><p></p><p>Have difficult child move to your ex's for the short term with the agreement that ex continue with therapy. Whether he thinks difficult child needs therapy for behavior or not you could require it because of the move and the split from his sister/you. Any child is going to think that if they are the one moved they are being thrown away. So therapy would be a reasonable request not some "wild idea" by you that your child has a mental health issue. This way you avoid the fight about difficult child having mental health issues but he still gets the support we all agree he needs.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter needs a little respite. Convince ex to give her that time and that you think she would also be more open to spending time with him. (sounds like she avoids it now). He doesn't need full custody of the children to be a help and he can be a real part of her life on a regular basis with this plan.</p><p></p><p>You can not handle this on your own. Your father is helping. The doctors are helping. But reality is with a child this defiant all the help you can get is needed. Unless the ex is a danger or harmful to your child then I think you should give him a shot. I would tell him that if things work well enough you are willing to consider changing the custody in order to benefit your child. </p><p></p><p>PS that whole idea goes out the window if EX truly is a violent man or an alcoholic. Also you know the situation better than I do so please take this for what its worth and if it isn't worth anything to you feel free to discard it. I promise not to take it personally <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 612917, member: 15473"] Okay so I am going to be the meanie here. You and your grandfather have not been able to help your son. From what I remember with your daughter she has minimal issues that may even be some form of staying away from difficult child's drama. Your father is having serious medical issues and is not happy with your sons behavior. Your father is having difficulty dealing with your son and therefore you are getting only the support he can afford to give without hurting himself. You are overwhelmed and unable to stop any of the drama. While I don't believe your ex will be able to handle your son without medical help I do believe that your daughter, you, and your father might benefit from some respite. I would recommend that if unless your son will have to change schools that you agree to a trial run. Make it for a specific amount of time and set a hard re evaluation date. Let ex know that if you guys can work as a team you need support and you are willing to help support him as well. It will make the transition easier and to make sure everyone is "OK" with this. Have difficult child move to your ex's for the short term with the agreement that ex continue with therapy. Whether he thinks difficult child needs therapy for behavior or not you could require it because of the move and the split from his sister/you. Any child is going to think that if they are the one moved they are being thrown away. So therapy would be a reasonable request not some "wild idea" by you that your child has a mental health issue. This way you avoid the fight about difficult child having mental health issues but he still gets the support we all agree he needs. Your daughter needs a little respite. Convince ex to give her that time and that you think she would also be more open to spending time with him. (sounds like she avoids it now). He doesn't need full custody of the children to be a help and he can be a real part of her life on a regular basis with this plan. You can not handle this on your own. Your father is helping. The doctors are helping. But reality is with a child this defiant all the help you can get is needed. Unless the ex is a danger or harmful to your child then I think you should give him a shot. I would tell him that if things work well enough you are willing to consider changing the custody in order to benefit your child. PS that whole idea goes out the window if EX truly is a violent man or an alcoholic. Also you know the situation better than I do so please take this for what its worth and if it isn't worth anything to you feel free to discard it. I promise not to take it personally :) [/QUOTE]
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