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Another newbie - I need some help please
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 428632" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Welcome, Nicky.</p><p> </p><p>I'm always the rescuer, so I'd end up with-the difficult child full time, no doubt. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>But it's up to you if you want to send him back. You are wise to guess, given past history, and that history repeats itself, that he will end up with-you again, and for longer periods, as bio mom sends him back as he gets older and things get more out of control. So you want to get started on the task now.</p><p> </p><p>I beg to differ on your opinion of the resort incident. The fact that the police were called, and then you cracked down on difficult child and would not allow him to go anywhere alone DID make a huge difference. It's that kind of thing that will change him. Do not confuse happiness or unhappiness with-an inability to learn and change behaviors. It is a very long process. He now knows how people react when he steals boogie boards, and how you react. </p><p>Just out of curiousity, once he steals something, and learns that he has consequences, does he no longer steal that item, but moves on to stealing a different item? Because that could be Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/Aspie. No ability to project onto other things, to extrapolate. Each experience is limited to itself. </p><p>That would also fit the notion that he doesn't care what other people think.</p><p>And ODD.</p><p> </p><p>Now, there could be many, many other things, but I can only go by what you've written here. Does his dad give you any info on what difficult child was like as a baby?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 428632, member: 3419"] Welcome, Nicky. I'm always the rescuer, so I'd end up with-the difficult child full time, no doubt. :) But it's up to you if you want to send him back. You are wise to guess, given past history, and that history repeats itself, that he will end up with-you again, and for longer periods, as bio mom sends him back as he gets older and things get more out of control. So you want to get started on the task now. I beg to differ on your opinion of the resort incident. The fact that the police were called, and then you cracked down on difficult child and would not allow him to go anywhere alone DID make a huge difference. It's that kind of thing that will change him. Do not confuse happiness or unhappiness with-an inability to learn and change behaviors. It is a very long process. He now knows how people react when he steals boogie boards, and how you react. Just out of curiousity, once he steals something, and learns that he has consequences, does he no longer steal that item, but moves on to stealing a different item? Because that could be Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/Aspie. No ability to project onto other things, to extrapolate. Each experience is limited to itself. That would also fit the notion that he doesn't care what other people think. And ODD. Now, there could be many, many other things, but I can only go by what you've written here. Does his dad give you any info on what difficult child was like as a baby? [/QUOTE]
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Another newbie - I need some help please
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