another newbie :)

[nateisnuts]

Im so glad i found this site, i am at the end of my rope!

my 3 year old nathan has been a "high needs" child from day 1. as hes come barrelling into toddler hood its only progressed, not gotten better. last year we were referred to a child psychologist and she gave him a diagnosis of adhd. we then tried to get some help for him and ended up having a 2nd evaluation, and that dr said disruptive behavior disorder and ODD, oppositional defiant disorder. so then we were referred to early intervention. he had a behavior specialist for awhile, but ei ends at age 3. we had him to the iu but he did not qualify because they handle more developmental issues than behavior. so, guess what? 3rd evaluation at the beginning of this month. the evaluator is recommending a behavior specialist and a tss aide here in the home. im so stressed out with him and this whole situation. i wish i could give you a little window into our lives. i promise you i am not jumping on bandwagons, i am not over reacting. there is a case manager and a tss aide that come to the house for my sister, and they both have said they have rarely seen this in a child this young. this is not terrible 2's or 3's, i WISH it was just that. he literally runs in circles, he hits and bites, spits, throws toys, kicks, bites himself, he cannot even sit through a full dora episode. the longest ive seen him with one toy is about 3-5 min. he throws ALL OUT TANTRUMS when he does not get something he wants. he does not sleep good at all, we actually have an appointment with a specialist in hershey on july 23rd for him. and thats just what i can think of right now. im thinking i probably need to keep some kind of journal on his behavior, but with also having to care for my 8 month old its very difficult. Now i call the place that did the evaluation to check on things yesterday and find out that the evaluator only recommended 4 hours a WEEK with a behavior specialist and no tss aide. Im LIVID!!! The bs is coming to the house with the lady from the agency on thursday morning. Im NOT signing anything, i want them to listen to me! I guess if i have to i can see if we can go through a different agency? can anyone offer any advice here? been through this?

 

[SRL]

Welcome, I'm glad that you found us.

I think we can give you some ideas. Do you have private insurance or do you need to reply on public agencies?

 

[nateisnuts]

both actually. but our private insurance doesnt cover anything i dont think, everything goes through the medical assistance as far as i know. thanks for any help in advance!

 

[BusynMember]

How was his very early development? Did he like to be held? Did he cuddle. Does he stare into your eyes--did he as an infant? Is he fussy about textures, food, sound? Can he speak age appropriately? Does he play with his toys in an imaginative way? Can he relate to peers normally? Does he have fine/gross motor skills problems?

 

[nateisnuts]

He had a few minor issues as a very young baby, but yes he was definately a hold me cuddle me baby. we had early intervention in here so hes been developmentally evaluated several times over and except for some balance issues and needing little othotics for his shoes he has met every checkpoint/standard. with the exception of the social/emotional which is where the behavior problems come in. he's no where even close to the autism spectrum. is that why you were asking? this whole thing is so frustrating cause noone seems to agree on anything and not any 2 evaluators has said the same thing! grrr

 

[BusynMember]

Then are there any psychiatric problems, mood disorders or substance abuse on either side of the family tree?

 

[nateisnuts]

theres some manic depression/bi polar on my side and adhd on my side, some learning disabilities and adhd on my husbands side as far as i know. my husbands mother passed away 17 years ago and his dad doesnt offer much in the way of history information. hes having some of his own medical problems, i think hes going senile, but thats a whole nother issue.

 

[SRL]

If you have insurance I think it would be good to try and get a private evaluation done on him by either a behavioral pediatrician or pediatric neuropsychologist. These specialists tend to take a more thorough medical approach and not just consider it as general developmental or behavioral like the public agencies do. For instance, sometimes issues such as undiagnosed seizures can cause severe behavioral problems and those likley won't be picked up by the types of specialists he's seen.

You'd have to call your insurance company and find out what kind of specialists are covered. If the specialist you need isn't practicing in your area then they often will cover out of area.

 

[jal]

NIN- I should have used that one as my son has the same name and is EXACTLY the same as you describe!! I can sympathize with you. difficult child started around the age of 2 though. He was a great baby but when he hit 2 it started. Hitting, throwing, biting, major tantrums when he doesn't get what he want. We have gone through Birth to 3 which could not help him as he had no Learning Disability (LD)'s. It is all behavioral. He's seen a renouned psychologist who said ADHD but stimulants send him through the roof. diagnosis changed to Bipolar. Been through 2 psychiatrists (now have one we like) agrees with BiPolar (BP) diagnosis. Been through behavioral therapists, play therapists, neuropsychologist evaluations...UGH! Not too much has changed - still has issues. I have been there done that and want to offer Hugs. We are starting to look into dietary changes. Does your son have any dark circles under the eyes, red ears and/or sniffles?

 

[nateisnuts]

dark circles sometimes. i dont think red ears. i have been trying to cut out the caffeine and sugar, but i have a husband who is only so so in agreement with this and not very helpful most of the time. now, the neuropsychologist evaluations that you ladies are talking about, these are different than seeing a neurologist? he has a neurologist, im not sure im very happy with her though, she is not an md, she is the a crnp i believe. she has us using melatonin to help with the sleep issues, but even thats beginning not to help so much. Hershey Medical is our closest "big" university hospital. I guess our next move would be to take him to childrens in philly if i keep getting put off. Im not looking foreward to this apt this morning. i have a feeling things are going to come to a head and im still not gonna get the answer i want. we've just had a mini crisis here this morning also. the 3 yr old tipped my 8 month old over in his walker and now the baby has a black eye. difficult child keeps saying hes sorry when he does stuff like this, so if hes saying hes sorry he knows its wrong! why wont he just listen in the first place and not do it!! he does this constantly, misbehaves or hurts someone and then immediatley says hes sorry. im just in tears, i dont know what im going to do if this behavior therapist doesnt see how badly we need help.

 

[jal]

My difficult child is like that too. You tell him not to and he does, I hear I'm sorry all the time-but it sometimes is so route you feel he doesn't mean it. I had difficult child evaluated by a neurologist. She did testing like having him draw certain shapes etc. She diagnosis ADHD. I had a neuropsychological evaluation done to rule out learning disabilities and things like Asbergers. That evaluation agreed with the psychiatrist's diagnosis of bipolar. I know how frustrating this is but I would push for a full evaluation at a children's hospital. Good luck at your appointment.