Q was playing outside with a little boy and his sister and while bending over picking up balloons he bumped her and she fell and cried and went in to tell on him (yes, she is five and cries and tells a lot). I heard him apologize like four times. he ran home and I said to him that it was an accident so dont worry we can just explain I went with him but the brother said I didn't see it but she is my sister so I believe her...well I was close by and they were playing nicely so I know he didn't just push her for nothing, they were bent over. And he stuck to his story which never happens when he lies. He started coming at me etc... finally I had to call 911 for help and he couldn't calm so we went to the psychiatric hospital. He was calm there except a little loud at times. I told him he is not going out anymore. We have had enough of that risk. Until he has a super long time of no outbursts he is only going on activities with me and Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) not any free play outside, it is just too hard for him. He is really mad about that but I can't risk it. Neighbors are crabby and gossiping and running out of patience. I have not received a lease renewal and I suspect they are going to try to do something. I'd actually like to move but have no money to do so. If they say I have to leave I have no where to go. No money to move or store anything. And we have to stay in the district because they are paying for the new school and you have to be referred, if we moved it is not like the new school is a district we could move into. Luckily our psychiatrist was on call and she called me, I told her I have noticed that by day 5,6,7 of the Clonidine patches these things happen more. She said they usually rx for every 4 days though they have to fight insurance, it seems to work that way for this purpose. So I changed them while we were at the hospital. She also said to up the zyprexa again so we started that tonight. Ugg this level of stress is just too much. We went to church tonight, he asked to. He was really good and wants to go again. then we went to the park and hung out until 8:30 and then went to get some groceries and home. He just took a shower, he is great 90% of the time then the 10% wrecks the whole thing. I am worried I will have a stroke or heart attack, when this stuff happens I walk through it as if nothing is wrong but inside I can feel the stress so intently. I am strugging so much with money issues right now and tomorrow is the IEP, I still haven't heard anything about the psycho charges (law center things I just never will)....blah blah blah blah, sorry for the whine.