Another One Of Those Mornings

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Dec 16, 2010.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    difficult child is showing all of his difficult child-ness this morning! My kids have to empty the dishwasher in the mornings before school. Last night I forgot to run it, so I told difficult child that it didn't have to be emptied. I was not aware that husband ran it. So, I told difficult child that he did have to empty it. Holy cow!! The tantrum over this!! So now he's doing everything in slow motion, putting a dish in the cabinet, closing it, opening it, putting the next dish in, on and on this goes. I told him that if he missed the bus he had better get his walking shoes on because I was not going to drive him if this was the way he was acting. He said that he just wouldn't go to school then. I told him that if he made that choice that I would call the attendance office and tell them that this was an unexcused absence and to treat it as if he was cutting school and then he would have to deal with the consequences of his action. He did make it to the bus stop, but I think only because the bus seems to be running late this morning.

    Why does he have to be this way? I know. Because I told him originally that the chore would not have to be done until after school. My fault there and I told him that. Moms make mistakes sometimes, just like you do. Of course he responds to that with "I never make mistakes. I'm perfect." Really?

    Pam
     
  2. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Pam,

    difficult child 2 handles changes to his schedule much the way your difficult child did this morning. The slightest change is enough to send him into a "melting" mode. When he gets like this he also does chores in slow motion. It drives me up the wall!!! Unfortunately, sometimes difficult child 2 also throws things, breaks things, and becomes verbally abusive when this happens.

    I think you handled the situation well. You told your difficult child that you made a mistake because you didn't know the dishwasher had been turned on. Since the dishes were clean, they needed to be put away. If your difficult child is ever going to be able to survive in the "real world," he needs to be able to accept and deal with unexpected minor changes to his day. I think it's good that you explained to him that you made a mistake - Everyone makes mistakes - A part of life. I think it's also good that you didn't back down and made him complete his chore.

    Sorry your day got off to such a bad start!!! Hope the rest of it goes smoothly!!! SFR
     
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    I agree you did great. These kids and their routines! It's enough to make me pull my hair out (if I had enough to spare).
     
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    You did great!
     
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Thanks for the support. I know in my heart that I did the right thing by making him do the chore that was expected of him, but it just aggravates me that he does this. This is one of the things that the therapist is trying to work wit him about: sometimes people make mistakes and that means changes for him and he is just not having any of it. He completely ****s down when things like this comes up. I agree that if he is ever going to survive in the real world he is going to have to learn how to deal with it.

    He started taking the Risperdal last night. Hopefully, that will help him and his anger management.

    Pam
     
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    You know, your difficult child feels right now that the whole world is against him. What if you took a different tack with him and demonstrated two important lessons to him: First, that moms do make mistakes, and second, that you're on his team working with him, not against him. What if you said to difficult child, "Hey, I messed up so I'll do your chore for you this morning." I think that would go a long way in gaining his cooperation the next time. Not everything has to turn into a battle on your end either. JMHO.
     
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