There are always going to be different names for things - that's just the way language shifts and varies from place to place. This isn't so much about language variations and accents, as about mispronunciations especially where they change the meaning.
How you pronounce "mauve" - you do it how it's acceptable in your area, but if in doubt, go back to the origin of the word which is French, I believe.
Different words for things according to locality - I'm always keeping that in mind when I post, because I've been surprised sometimes at the words that I use, that are not recognised. I remember when I was a child and a new girl came to our school, having moved from Queensland. Where we called our schoolbag a schoolbag or schoolcase, she called hers a "port". We were going for a swim after school and told her to go home first to collect her swimmers - she finally realised we meant "togs".
But she wasn't wrong at all - just different. As we were, to her.
The problems can arise when a word which is innocent in one area means something derogatory in another. I once worked with a young woman from New Zealand. IN the lab were us two young women and our boss, a conservative, kindly churchgoing man. He made some references to us one day in a kidding way, about us as "wenches". My female co-worker was horrified, AND offended. "I DON'T THINK SO," she replied, then stalked off.
I followed her to find out what was wrong - the boss was worried about what he might have said to offend her Turned out, in New Zealand at the time, calling a girl a little wench was like calling her a tramp, or the town bike.
(And that's another - is "the town bike" an Aussie expression, or do you know it? It refers to a girl who has been "ridden" by everyone in town).
In Australia, "wench" at the time at least, just meant "attractive young woman".
Words which are appropriate somewhere to someone are not the issue here. It's total ignorance masquerading as erudition that drives me crazy.
I think the worst example was a man I met at a writing workshop. He was working on his magnum opus, a very important work in the James Joyce style, something which would be hailed as a masterpiece and a vital text to upcoming psychology and sociology students. If there was a pause in the proceedings this fellow would jump in out of turn and insist his most recent chapters be read aloud for everyone's benefit - after all, HIS work was noteworthy, unlike the trivial little jottings of the rest of us plebs. The custom also was, at these groups, to get feedback from the other writers there as to what they thought - any flaws, any good points - since without a readership, a writer has not communicated. I remember after one of his reading sessions we sat there confused - it was stream of consciousness stuff, as if he was writing every thought that came through his head, important or otherwise. Someone tentatively asked where the piece was going, and he witheringly replied that perhaps she hadn't understood his work because it was too cerebral for her. "It IS going to be an academic work," he said in a patronising fashion.
Then one session he actually had the foresight to hand round copies of the piece he was reading. That was how I saw some of the glaringly obvious grammatic errors - the sort you WOULDN'T find in even a first draft of an academic work. When I got to something that said, "I should of seen through him," I realised I HAD seen through our aspiring writer.
So I tentatively spoke up. "Excuse me, but for an academic work, you will need to be meticulous about the grammar before you show any drafts to an editor or even a thesis supervisor."
I got the reaction I expected. "Well, of course you are too far removed from academia to understand the subtle satire of the piece," he told me. Mind you, he had paused for a second or two; he really didn't know even basic grammar.
I continued. "I'm also not sure if it drives the story forward to be reading such intimate, fine detail about your first sexual experience. Especially as you were alone at the time."
He completely missed the satire in MY response, he simply responded with, "You really don't understand sociology, do you?"
husband says the definition of offensive writing is independent of intent - you might not intend to offend, but if you do, then what you have written or said is offensive. Our writer colleague perhaps didn't mean to offend, but he got a very high strike rate in the room that night!
(by the way - easy child 2/difficult child 2 was also in the room, she was about 12 at the time. he read on blithely unaware of just how inappropriate it was for such a young girl to hear such graphic, sordid details. I was caught between wanting to jump up and shout out "Stop! You filthy swine!" and thereby tipping OPC2/difficult child 2 off to the presence of something interesting; or to say nothing and hope she wasn't paying attention.)
I should OF told him to take a course in correct grammar.
Marg