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Substance Abuse
Another question...advice needed?
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 613647" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Boy this is a hard thing to try to answer and it certainly sounds like she either, a) didn't believe it, b) believed it to be something that he wouldn't repeat or, more distubing, c) believed it but doesn't think it's bad enough to leave him over. You say she "went back" to him, so I assume she initially left him? Perhaps he promised to get counseling or to not do it again and she gave him another chance. I'm assuming for the sake of argument he did not actually touch anyone. </p><p></p><p>I understand your reluctance. I certainly wouldn't want anything to do with <em>him</em>. However, I would probably reopen communication with my mom in your place. Please understand, I lost my mom at 23 (dad 2 years later) and I've missed her every day for 28 years now, and of course I never had to deal with something like this so I'm definitely coming from a different place. Is it possible to tell her you miss <em>her</em>, but you want absolutely nothing to do with <em>him </em>and don't even want to hear his name and if she can handle that then you want to keep in touch? </p><p></p><p>Bottom line for me I guess, is: If she were to pass away tomorrow, would you regret having cut off all communication? Not regret that she made it necessary in your mind, but regret you did it - regardless of what she did? That would answer the question for me - if it were me. </p><p></p><p>I hope you find your answer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 613647, member: 17309"] Boy this is a hard thing to try to answer and it certainly sounds like she either, a) didn't believe it, b) believed it to be something that he wouldn't repeat or, more distubing, c) believed it but doesn't think it's bad enough to leave him over. You say she "went back" to him, so I assume she initially left him? Perhaps he promised to get counseling or to not do it again and she gave him another chance. I'm assuming for the sake of argument he did not actually touch anyone. I understand your reluctance. I certainly wouldn't want anything to do with [I]him[/I]. However, I would probably reopen communication with my mom in your place. Please understand, I lost my mom at 23 (dad 2 years later) and I've missed her every day for 28 years now, and of course I never had to deal with something like this so I'm definitely coming from a different place. Is it possible to tell her you miss [I]her[/I], but you want absolutely nothing to do with [I]him [/I]and don't even want to hear his name and if she can handle that then you want to keep in touch? Bottom line for me I guess, is: If she were to pass away tomorrow, would you regret having cut off all communication? Not regret that she made it necessary in your mind, but regret you did it - regardless of what she did? That would answer the question for me - if it were me. I hope you find your answer. [/QUOTE]
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