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Substance Abuse
Another reason not to smoke pot
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 330638" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>My last post was back in September: difficult child 2 had been hospitalized with pneumonia for a week and we found out via the toxicology tests that there was PCP in his system. A shock to all of us, especially when the hospital pulmonologist said the drug actually "ate" away some of his lung tissue.</p><p> </p><p>You would think that this wouldbe enough to scare a kid away from pot for a lifetime, but no. I don't think it was more than two weeks after his release when he started smoking again. In the beginning, just enough to stay under the urine test radar (they dilute their urine with drinking a lot of water and cranberry juice or wheatgrass juice). Then he stopped cooperating with the substance abuse counseling, stopped going, or only went to group meetings where he wouldn't be tested. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Fast forward to New Year's Eve: he showed up at my house with two friends asking if he could get a ride to a party a few blocks away I agreed and went off to take easy child to a party on the other side of town, while difficult child 2 and friends waited for me (party was starting late, or something). I didn't notice anything amiss until he called me for a ride home from the party (early, like 11 p.m.) and sounded really smashed. When I got him in the car, his two friends seemed fine but my son was completely intoxicated, said he'd had vodka and beer, maybe some weed. I don't think the parents were home at that party, or perhaps the kids were just hanging out in the basement. I found out later that a mutual friend had gotten them some vodka, they had consumed it with cranberry juice in my house while I was out driving easy child to her party. I later found a gallon jug of cranberry juice in one of the bedrooms. At first I was going to let him sleep if off at my house,then take him back to his dad's but he was so loud and obnoxious I couldn't have him in my home, especially when his younger sister came home. I woke up my ex, it took a while to get our boy in dad's truck because he had started to undress to go to bed and it was well below freezing outside. He slipped in his stocking feet on my uncarpeted stairs and hit the edge of the treads full force with his back, shoulders and hips, and even that wasn't enough to register. the next day he had no hangover and no pain. He thought it was a big joke.</p><p> </p><p>I told him, no more rides from me, certainly, no money for food or busfare either. He'll be 17 in two weeks and has never had a job. He knows how to glom on to wealthier kids who have cars and access to alcohol and drug, but who also must have social issues, because they are friends with him.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child 2 lives with dad, but we have joint legal custody. Physically, neither of us can compel him to do anything he doesn't want to do. Dad chooses not to make any effort to help his son. He puts frozen pizzas in the fridge and keeps the house warm, but he's either working or sleeping (anger adn depression issues he refuses to confront). That's the extent of his parenting. </p><p> </p><p>difficult child 2 completed his one year probation last September. A phone call from me could reinstate it. Why don't I do it? Every effort I make seems so futile. And the worst part is, that my anger only lasts so long, and then I find myself feeling sorry for him (that he has to live with his dad, who is a miserable person). I'm exhausted from expending energy to help someone who is fighting it, and an angry, passive-aggressive ex who undermines my efforts at every turn.</p><p> </p><p> Pretty much everyone tells me to detach. The problem is that I tend to act based on emotion rather than reason. Last night son called me to ask for a ride somewhere. I flat told him no, I was disturbed at his behavior at New Years, and I wasn't giving him rides or money. He was silent a moment, said okay, and goodbye. But he still doesn't get it. He knows if he waits a few days I will be cooperative.</p><p> </p><p>His drug counselor and I communicate via email or phone calls because I have easy child also seeing her as a pre-emptive strike. easy child hasn't smoked since October, though I think she might drink if she had the opportunity. It seems to be the thing that 8th graders do at her school. Ugh. I hate being a parent of teenagers.</p><p> </p><p>I'm going to ask the drug counselor tomorrow to meet with her team and either discharge difficult child 2 or find a more intensive program. this voluntary showing up if he feels like it is not working out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 330638, member: 5941"] My last post was back in September: difficult child 2 had been hospitalized with pneumonia for a week and we found out via the toxicology tests that there was PCP in his system. A shock to all of us, especially when the hospital pulmonologist said the drug actually "ate" away some of his lung tissue. You would think that this wouldbe enough to scare a kid away from pot for a lifetime, but no. I don't think it was more than two weeks after his release when he started smoking again. In the beginning, just enough to stay under the urine test radar (they dilute their urine with drinking a lot of water and cranberry juice or wheatgrass juice). Then he stopped cooperating with the substance abuse counseling, stopped going, or only went to group meetings where he wouldn't be tested. Fast forward to New Year's Eve: he showed up at my house with two friends asking if he could get a ride to a party a few blocks away I agreed and went off to take easy child to a party on the other side of town, while difficult child 2 and friends waited for me (party was starting late, or something). I didn't notice anything amiss until he called me for a ride home from the party (early, like 11 p.m.) and sounded really smashed. When I got him in the car, his two friends seemed fine but my son was completely intoxicated, said he'd had vodka and beer, maybe some weed. I don't think the parents were home at that party, or perhaps the kids were just hanging out in the basement. I found out later that a mutual friend had gotten them some vodka, they had consumed it with cranberry juice in my house while I was out driving easy child to her party. I later found a gallon jug of cranberry juice in one of the bedrooms. At first I was going to let him sleep if off at my house,then take him back to his dad's but he was so loud and obnoxious I couldn't have him in my home, especially when his younger sister came home. I woke up my ex, it took a while to get our boy in dad's truck because he had started to undress to go to bed and it was well below freezing outside. He slipped in his stocking feet on my uncarpeted stairs and hit the edge of the treads full force with his back, shoulders and hips, and even that wasn't enough to register. the next day he had no hangover and no pain. He thought it was a big joke. I told him, no more rides from me, certainly, no money for food or busfare either. He'll be 17 in two weeks and has never had a job. He knows how to glom on to wealthier kids who have cars and access to alcohol and drug, but who also must have social issues, because they are friends with him. difficult child 2 lives with dad, but we have joint legal custody. Physically, neither of us can compel him to do anything he doesn't want to do. Dad chooses not to make any effort to help his son. He puts frozen pizzas in the fridge and keeps the house warm, but he's either working or sleeping (anger adn depression issues he refuses to confront). That's the extent of his parenting. difficult child 2 completed his one year probation last September. A phone call from me could reinstate it. Why don't I do it? Every effort I make seems so futile. And the worst part is, that my anger only lasts so long, and then I find myself feeling sorry for him (that he has to live with his dad, who is a miserable person). I'm exhausted from expending energy to help someone who is fighting it, and an angry, passive-aggressive ex who undermines my efforts at every turn. Pretty much everyone tells me to detach. The problem is that I tend to act based on emotion rather than reason. Last night son called me to ask for a ride somewhere. I flat told him no, I was disturbed at his behavior at New Years, and I wasn't giving him rides or money. He was silent a moment, said okay, and goodbye. But he still doesn't get it. He knows if he waits a few days I will be cooperative. His drug counselor and I communicate via email or phone calls because I have easy child also seeing her as a pre-emptive strike. easy child hasn't smoked since October, though I think she might drink if she had the opportunity. It seems to be the thing that 8th graders do at her school. Ugh. I hate being a parent of teenagers. I'm going to ask the drug counselor tomorrow to meet with her team and either discharge difficult child 2 or find a more intensive program. this voluntary showing up if he feels like it is not working out. [/QUOTE]
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