So...he called again. This time it was "he's out of food and out of money and he doesn't know what to do." The food pantries are closed today. He's borrowed $ from his bondsman (loan shark?) and that he now owes him and he's afraid he'll go to jail because he can't pay him back....I'm not sure what to say about that. Eventually I get him off the phone. I felt awful, talked to Jabber. I really wanted to get him some groceries. Jabber didn't, but I didn't feel good about doing nothing. He had my sympathy, but he calls back. I ask why he hasn't gone to Family Support to apply for food stamps. He could have done that anytime in the last month and a half. I tell him he has to quit borrowing and selling stuff and get a freaking job. This is not met with acceptance and grace, because he never, ever, listens. He still hasn't put his student loans in forbearance even though it only takes a phone call and he has a phone and is home every day...he basically does nothing to make his life better. He of course goes on and on about how he borrowed the money for food and how everyone ate it all and then stole his stuff and won't help him and took off "in the worst way possible" and I kind of lost it. I finally asked why it was so much worse for him to be stolen from but it was apparently ok to steal from us? (Apparently it's because we have money and he doesn't...that wasn't a direct answer...but I got the hint.) There was a bit of discussion of karma. He ticked me off. We hung up. So then he texts me. He texts so much it takes seven texts to send it all. He is still complaining. It's cold. He doesn't have a dollar for the bus. Fine, he'll walk an hour to apply for food stamps, but he is hungry NOW and has nothing. Woe is him. His life is so bad. I don't understand. He's sorry he's such a horrible, thieving, son. I didn't respond. I started to. I typed several responses, much of which has to do with being sick to death of his playing the victim, but I didn't send them. He finally sent an 8th text...this one was an apology and asked me not to hate him. I finally responded with "I always love you, even if I hate how you act." I finally came home and Jabber and I had a lovely time of me crying and falling apart and him standing firm. I know it hurts him as much as me...I know it...but I'm the one that gets the calls and has to hear the sad, teary, desperate voice. I'm the one that get the begging and the complaints that he's hungry and scared. I wanted to just take him some ramen noodles we have in the pantry and a bus pass. I didn't. I only didn't because of my husband, because he didn't want me to. I know I could have anyway. I know he wouldn't have been angry...probably disappointed and upset with me for giving in, but not angry. But I knew he didn't want me to, didn't think it was the right thing, so I didn't. I did, however, text my son and tell him Monday I will pick him and his friend up between hearings and take them to Family Support to apply for food stamps, but that he was on his own for the weekend. He said J-2 was coming over and bringing food from where he lives. Apparently a couple of his friends snitch food from the places they live and bring it over from time to time. So I told him we'd be hard to get a hold of the rest of the weekend and I'd call him Monday. I'm tired. I'm annoyed. I feel bad about throwing a fit and probably upsetting Jabber more than necessary. I have to go to the office this weekend, because I got nothing done this afternoon and I really, really needed to. I really don't know how much longer I can keep this up.