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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 175515" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Okieeeeeeee. Wow. I have a few questions as a mother who adopted many kids, and a few were foster-adopts (one was too dangerous to others to still live with us, but we did have that experience!). First of all, was your boy in any way exposed to drugs or alcohol before he was born? I am assuming that he probably was, but it's important to know. He could have fetal alcohol effects (not the entire syndrome, but the effects can be behaviorally just as bad). It is organic brain damage--the kids MUST be watched all the time because they are INCAPABLE of learning cause and effect. It's not deliberate. They just have a disconnect and do not learn from their mistakes. Also, do you have any history at all on his biological parents as they could have passed along some lovely mental health issues. Was this child ever abused in foster care or before foster care? A kid who was abused, especially sexually, can act out terribly. Also, older adopted kids can have attachment issues.</p><p></p><p>In all, our older adopted kids (especially who were in foster care) come with a unique set of issues. Most were exposed to substances prenatally. Certainly that causes problems. Beleive it or not, alcohol has been proven worse than crack, but, of course, if a birthmother doesn't say no to crack, she doesn't say no to alcohol either. The worst part is we only have half a story on the child's genetic and foster care history. So when we go to a psychiatrist, they don't always know what they are dealing with...nor do we.</p><p></p><p>I highly recommend taking this child to a neuropsychologist. This is a Psychologist with training in the brain. More than a regular psychiatrist or a regular therapist or even a plain neurologist, he does evaluations that can point to neurological differences, such as Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE). This boy is not learning from his mistakes. It is very important to find out why. I am not convinced that he is trying to drive you nuts. I am more concerned thata he can't help his behavior. </p><p>All children are commonly misdiagnosed, but kids from foster/adoption probably get misdiagnosed the most often because we don't know their past or total genetic history. It takes a very sharp professional to help our kids. I recommend a neuropsychologist because that particular professional actually tested my son long enough to nail him correctly. Everyone else completely missed the boat.</p><p>I wish you luck with your child. I hope you have him re-evaluated. It could be a long journey until you know the big picture with him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 175515, member: 1550"] Okieeeeeeee. Wow. I have a few questions as a mother who adopted many kids, and a few were foster-adopts (one was too dangerous to others to still live with us, but we did have that experience!). First of all, was your boy in any way exposed to drugs or alcohol before he was born? I am assuming that he probably was, but it's important to know. He could have fetal alcohol effects (not the entire syndrome, but the effects can be behaviorally just as bad). It is organic brain damage--the kids MUST be watched all the time because they are INCAPABLE of learning cause and effect. It's not deliberate. They just have a disconnect and do not learn from their mistakes. Also, do you have any history at all on his biological parents as they could have passed along some lovely mental health issues. Was this child ever abused in foster care or before foster care? A kid who was abused, especially sexually, can act out terribly. Also, older adopted kids can have attachment issues. In all, our older adopted kids (especially who were in foster care) come with a unique set of issues. Most were exposed to substances prenatally. Certainly that causes problems. Beleive it or not, alcohol has been proven worse than crack, but, of course, if a birthmother doesn't say no to crack, she doesn't say no to alcohol either. The worst part is we only have half a story on the child's genetic and foster care history. So when we go to a psychiatrist, they don't always know what they are dealing with...nor do we. I highly recommend taking this child to a neuropsychologist. This is a Psychologist with training in the brain. More than a regular psychiatrist or a regular therapist or even a plain neurologist, he does evaluations that can point to neurological differences, such as Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE). This boy is not learning from his mistakes. It is very important to find out why. I am not convinced that he is trying to drive you nuts. I am more concerned thata he can't help his behavior. All children are commonly misdiagnosed, but kids from foster/adoption probably get misdiagnosed the most often because we don't know their past or total genetic history. It takes a very sharp professional to help our kids. I recommend a neuropsychologist because that particular professional actually tested my son long enough to nail him correctly. Everyone else completely missed the boat. I wish you luck with your child. I hope you have him re-evaluated. It could be a long journey until you know the big picture with him. [/QUOTE]
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