Another SA family post...our "real" family wouldn't get it!

[DDD]

The house that I attempted to buy for difficult child#2 got snatched away. This week I am exhausted from trying to play Realtor in an insane depressed real estate market. As soon as an inexpensive house comes to the fore...investors are jumping on them. There are so many foreclosures, short sales and God only knows what else going on that I'm stressed trying to keep up to speed.

Anyway...here's the point of this post (or whine). I found a house that he can afford. It has all the :required characteristics. We (difficult child#1, his girlfriend and I) are meeting the Realtor at 7:30 AM tomorrow to see it. I am NOT a morning person, lol. SO my former easy child/difficult child said to me this evening "You know, Mama, I don't know if I should just "settle" because a house is available." WTH! It is not as nice as what he lived in growing up. True. husband and I are hanging on to this house by the skin of our teeth. My kid isn't sure he should "settle"???

Say a prayer that I have the Serenity to accept the things I can not change....etc. DDD

 

[Nancy]

Awww DDD I am exhausted just thinking about it. I'm sorry the first house did not work out. I am going to think positive and hope that this one works out. I know you are doing your best to make sure he gets settled for him, you are one awesome mom.

Nancy

 

[92025]

I hear ya on the real estate issues - everything at low - medium price in san diego is getting snatched up for cash by investors. It's actually difficult to buy right now (here at least) because there is actually not a lot of inventory, people are not selling since prices are down, banks are holding on to vacant places, etc. I'm in escrow, offered a few thousand over list (they already had a full price offer) on an older, re-done place with a huge lot but it's been hard, i've been outbid on several places when making full price or above offers. So just keep trying! can take awhile!

 

[recoveringenabler]

I hear ya DDD, you do so much for your difficult child's, then they make those kinds of remarks that are so different from the way we think and it can just hit you right between the eyes. I know exactly what you are saying. And, we're a whole generation away from their way of looking at things too, so it can be a huge chasm between how we perceive something and their view on it. Sigh. My little munchkin granddaughter can say things like that too. I have to go and take a 'time out' while I 'collect myself' and like you, practice the serenity prayer. I feel your pain!!

 

[SuZir]

You showed huge amount of restraint and grace, if you were not either rolling on your floor laughing or ripping hair out of his head. I certainly do feel for you.

But I have to say I also feel for your grandson. I'm sure that all this, being disabled, having to face a reality he will always be disabled and with low income, that things he probably thought about his future when he was young is out of his reach. It just has to be difficult for also him to adapt, to change his perspective. I know it is also very difficult for you, but with his disabilities it will likely take even more time for him to really come terms with it all and see, that he can have a good life, maybe not just the one he always thought. I bet that till now he has more or less always thought he could get back to the wagon so to speak, if he just chose to do so. To accept, it is not like that is terribly hard for you all.

 

[DammitJanet]

LOL...oh kids.

My son lived in some real dumps but he doesnt seem to remember them. He only seems to remember this last double wide mobile home. I have no clue why his memory blocked all those other places out unless he just was happy and the surroundings didnt much matter to the kids.

Cory seemed to think he could walk out of our house and straight into a place like our double wide. No honey. The only reason I got the double wide was because I took care of my mom or we would still be in a single wide. I certainly didnt ever live up to where I came from. Cory eventually figured out it wasnt in the cards for him to walk into a wonderful place and learned to live in the dumps. Im hopeful that eventually he will end up with a better place. Who knows, when I die, he will probably get this place!

 

[DDD]

Janet...have you written a will?? Yeah I know you are young but since it's in your name Tony, the boys and Jamie's wife could end up in a real donnybrook over the double wide. Yikes. DDD

 

[lovemysons]

Oh DDD...

Your post made me laugh and shake my head at the same time! Sounds SO MUCH like my boys. They want the "good life" right off the bat. I suppose there is some consolation in that they have "high standards" that have obviously been set before them. But yep...husband and I started out at the "bottom" so to speak but of course none of our kids remember that! LOL and sigh...

You are an awesome mamma.
Hang in there.
hugs,
LMS