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Substance Abuse
Another set back :(
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<blockquote data-quote="PatriotsGirl" data-source="post: 657151" data-attributes="member: 15796"><p>Okay, just got off the phone with them and I feel much better. M still very much has a victim mentality and is hooked on being accepted from others. She worries more about making friends there. It has been more than just the incident yesterday and they explained a few things that have been occurring with her. I get where they are coming from. And I have to admit that I may have been feeding into that victim mentality by coddling her a little and that stops now. I will no longer co-sign her koi. Yes, the bus thing made her feel bad but it was her response to it. And then there was a time she was talking about being a part of a drug cartel and they said some of the things she was saying just did not make sense and they told her that maybe her perception of what was going on at that time was not necessarily reality and she got offended. Her perception is that she is being beat down but she is not. Sure, they purposely push her buttons - they do that to everyone. They have to. But it has been a lot of little things and they know that she is in NO way ready to stay clean if she left today. I agree. I don't want her going anywhere for a very, very long time anyway. She still has work to do and this pushes her graduation to November. I am okay with that, too. She needs as much time as she can get! </p><p></p><p>Her new caseworker is not G but it is not the house mom of the children's dorm either. It is someone else - M (and I really like her). They have come to the conclusion that this has pushed her back a month. No 7 hour passes, which is fine with me and no visitation this weekend (again, fine with me as I was not feeling it anyway. I told them I have things I want to say, but it would be better off in a counseling environment and they were completely on board with that). But she <em>will</em> continue to have Connor for the full weekends for the next two weekends and then we will see her progress if she is ready for a full week. They want her to have Connor there. They <em>really</em> want Connor there so that she can have that experience of being a full time mom with a job and experience LIFE as a mother. But, sheesh, she is still working on trying to get him there and she can't control her reactions. What will happen when you add the stress of Connor?? She doesn't have him full time in his terrific twos. She doesn't have a clue how stressful it can be! There are times I want to pull my hair out of my head with his attitude, crossing his arms and saying no. With his constant wanting to go outside to play and having a little meltdown when you say no. I love him with every ounce of my heart but it is <em>not</em> always fun.</p><p></p><p>So that is where we are. They said she has to really make a decision <strong>now</strong> about what is important - making friends, looking "cool" to the others and being accepted, or keeping focused on herself and getting her child back. I agree completely!!</p><p></p><p>She is at work and has not been told of the consequences yet but in my opinion, it could be a lot worse. They could have her move out of the children's dorm, back to dorm 1 and say forget Connor even coming on the weekends. So hopefully she has the clarity to see that as well. Sigh.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PatriotsGirl, post: 657151, member: 15796"] Okay, just got off the phone with them and I feel much better. M still very much has a victim mentality and is hooked on being accepted from others. She worries more about making friends there. It has been more than just the incident yesterday and they explained a few things that have been occurring with her. I get where they are coming from. And I have to admit that I may have been feeding into that victim mentality by coddling her a little and that stops now. I will no longer co-sign her koi. Yes, the bus thing made her feel bad but it was her response to it. And then there was a time she was talking about being a part of a drug cartel and they said some of the things she was saying just did not make sense and they told her that maybe her perception of what was going on at that time was not necessarily reality and she got offended. Her perception is that she is being beat down but she is not. Sure, they purposely push her buttons - they do that to everyone. They have to. But it has been a lot of little things and they know that she is in NO way ready to stay clean if she left today. I agree. I don't want her going anywhere for a very, very long time anyway. She still has work to do and this pushes her graduation to November. I am okay with that, too. She needs as much time as she can get! Her new caseworker is not G but it is not the house mom of the children's dorm either. It is someone else - M (and I really like her). They have come to the conclusion that this has pushed her back a month. No 7 hour passes, which is fine with me and no visitation this weekend (again, fine with me as I was not feeling it anyway. I told them I have things I want to say, but it would be better off in a counseling environment and they were completely on board with that). But she [I]will[/I] continue to have Connor for the full weekends for the next two weekends and then we will see her progress if she is ready for a full week. They want her to have Connor there. They [I]really[/I] want Connor there so that she can have that experience of being a full time mom with a job and experience LIFE as a mother. But, sheesh, she is still working on trying to get him there and she can't control her reactions. What will happen when you add the stress of Connor?? She doesn't have him full time in his terrific twos. She doesn't have a clue how stressful it can be! There are times I want to pull my hair out of my head with his attitude, crossing his arms and saying no. With his constant wanting to go outside to play and having a little meltdown when you say no. I love him with every ounce of my heart but it is [I]not[/I] always fun. So that is where we are. They said she has to really make a decision [B]now[/B] about what is important - making friends, looking "cool" to the others and being accepted, or keeping focused on herself and getting her child back. I agree completely!! She is at work and has not been told of the consequences yet but in my opinion, it could be a lot worse. They could have her move out of the children's dorm, back to dorm 1 and say forget Connor even coming on the weekends. So hopefully she has the clarity to see that as well. Sigh. [/QUOTE]
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