Another Thread About Men - (Must be Something in the Air...)

[DaisyFace]

husband has been on my "list" for a while....he's making me crazy with all the complaining - and now, I swear, he's gone right over the edge!

The backstory? We don't have a lot of money - we live pretty much paycheck to paycheck. And this year, there is nothing extra for the holidays. I hate living this way and the fact that there is no holiday money has been weighing heavily on my mind. I've been trying to discuss my worries with husband, but he can't be bothered having a conversation about money / saving / budgeting / planning ahead - he'd rather not think about it.

Several weeks ago, we were notified that we would each be receiving a $100 pre-paid gift card from the insurance co. husband immediately started working on a long list of things to buy for himself.

Me? I continued to stress about holiday spending.

Finally, yesterday, I sat down and went over the budget and decided where I could trim in order to pay for holiday gifts. I decided that my $100 gift card was best put toward the holidays. Combined with some careful scrimping, I should be able to pull off some shopping for the immediate family.

This made me feel sooo good! Finally, my worry about holiday cash was solved! Whoo-Hoo! Happy Dance!

husband is furious. He feels that because I am putting *my* gift card toward the holidays, this means that *he* has to do the same. So he ranted and raved about his "bad luck" and the fact that I have "ruined everything" and now he is refusing to sepak to me.

I told him I didn't count his card toward the holiday budget. I told him I don't care what he spends his gift card on. But it doesn't matter - I've "ruined" it.

I am beginning to feel like I just can't win any more. There seems to be nothing I can do that doesn't result in a complaint. If I hadn't figured out a holiday fund - you'd better believe I would have heard complaints about that!

--sigh--

So I don't know....maybe there really is something in the air right now that is making these men act insane? It's certainly making ME crazy...

 

[tiredmommy]

It seems to me that your husband has guilty conscious and your altruistic intentions have highlighted that he's being pretty self-centered around the holidays (in my humble opinion, of course).

We're having a tight Christmas as well since we planning on moving soon and we will be carrying 2 mortagages until our current home sells or we pay it off in May 2013. So, we've set Duckie's expectations accordingly. husband is getting some clothes and a few tools. I'm getting a foot bath and gift cards to use toward stuff for the new house. But, it's what adults do when cash is tight.

 

[SuZir]

Oh, I'm sorry. Tell him he can either give a gift card for you, if it is ruined anyway or just stop whining. There is only so much one can take from grown man whining over nothing.

And there is definitely something in the air and it is all the way over here too. My husband has been much less dear than usual several months already. First he was mostly PITA with all difficult child related, to difficult child etc. but now he has progressed being PITA also to me and the dogs. easy child is still mostly in his good graces, but he has been PITA to him too at times. Really don't know what is going on.

 

[DaisyFace]

There is only so much one can take from grown man whining over nothing.

I think that is it right there. He's a GROWN MAN for Pete's sake! Enough with the whining and the pouting already!

I wonder if it would make a difference if men knew just how UN-attractive that is?

 

[Parker]

It seems to me that many men live an extended adolescence these days, they've never been forced to grow up. They want to be mothered rather than take responsibility for their life. I don't have many friends and this is why, I can't stand the way they treat their wives and family. I really don't have a solution for you nor any suggestions, just that I hope things get better.

 

[Marcie Mac]

Definately something in the air. Reading this makes me want to run and open all the windows as our man air has been recycling for a little too long at my house. It is going to be a very very lean Xmas at our house as well, and I am having a hard time adjusting

Marcie

 

[DammitJanet]

TM, it has always been very lean as far as the adults go in our family. I dont think Tony and I ever gave each other anything the entire time the kids were growing up. All the money went towards the kids Xmas. If anything, that was when I got him new jeans or flannel shirts because they normally went on sale.

And yes, I am so sick of men. I am thinking of changing sides.

 

[DaisyFace]

and yes, i am so sick of men. I am thinking of changing sides.

lol!

 

[1905]

If he's going to complain about it anyway, at least take the hundred! He can cry all he wants, but if he's complaining AND keeping it, then he can fork it over, you don't need to listen to that. Boo Hoo! You've earned it now.

 

[Bunny]

It's happening over here, too!! I won't hijack your thread with it, but there must be something in the air that the men breath.

 

[DaisyFace]

If he's going to complain about it anyway, at least take the hundred! He can cry all he wants, but if he's complaining AND keeping it, then he can fork it over, you don't need to listen to that. Boo Hoo! You've earned it now.

You know, I feel almost exactly the opposite. If he's gonna make that much of a stink - I'd rather he spend it and shut the heck up.... than hear about how he "lost" his $100 by "sacrficing" for the family for the rest of my life.

 

[DaisyFace]

And for those keeping track:

he's STILL not speaking to me....other than to make a few snide remarks about how he's not gonna bother making a "wish list" now.

 

[DaisyFace]

It's happening over here, too!! I won't hijack your thread with it, but there must be something in the air that the men breath.

No worries, Bunny - feel free to hi-jack and add your own story here. What's going on at your house?

 

[Bunny]

Thanks, Daisy. I posted a separate thread.

What is it with men lately? I have to say that I agree with you that if he's going to whine and complain about it you're better off just having him spend his gift card on whatever he wants to so that you don't have to listen to him anymore. But them, I wouldn't buy him alot for the holidays since he already got so much more than everybody else. But I'm mean like that.

 

[Star*]

Well we had OUR blow out in Walmart......He put Fruitloops in the cart, and I took them out and put Fruit WHEELS inthe cart.......the difference? .32 cents. and a few more ounces in the generic box. He barked "I don't like the generic Frootloops." ........and so I took them out of the cart....put the "REAL" Frootloops back in the cart and turned and said "I don't like the generic paycheck you give me either....but fine.....if we're having Frootloops for ThanksGiving......I guess we should have the GOODSTUFF."

When we got to the check out......the generic box was in the cart......I've never felt like throwing a box of cereal in Walmart (and we all know how ILL WM makes me anyway) but he just mouthed the words I'm sorry....and we left, had Fruitloops Thursday night.....and called it a draw.

EVERYONE is in the same boat......and somehow? I find that comforting.......I figure at least I'm not floating on a 2nd class passenger door in the North Atlantic with a whistle in my mouth....

 

[hearts and roses]

I think my initial response would have been something like, "Well, duh, of course your GC will go towards the holiday expenses! We're married, or have you forgotten that?"

What a freaking baby. Take the $100 - let him pout. I'd be thrilled if H stopped talking to me for this reason. Hahaha. No, seriously. Take the money.

I don't have two nickels to rub together at the moment, so our holiday is also going to be very lean. If I spend money, H will complain that I haven't spent any money towards the upstairs addition. If I don't buy anything, I'm the grinch. I told both daughters to only give "together" gifts and only ONE. I'll do the usual stocking stuffers and they will each get one gift plus their usual holiday jammies. And we will share a nice meal together. Jeez. What is this all about anyway??

 

[Shari]

Omg parker is my new hero, just for having testicles AND that opinion!!!
Sorry, df.

 

[InsaneCdn]

There are other men like him. Really. Just not many men on this board, so we don't often get "that perspective".
(How do I know? I'm married to one... but he can't be cloned.)