Another's difficult child harrassing easy child

['Chelle]

My easy child has been harrassed through the year by a boy in her class. She is a big girl, chubby, and his main thing is calling her names (jumbo) and mooing at her. He's had other behaviors, up to exposing his private anatomy to the girls. He's being assessed at the University here (hospital and mental health professionals associated with the hospital). My difficult child was assessed through them and they do a good job.

I do sympathize with the mother and the boy, but as well I don't want to have easy child start to hate school or herself. Being large my whole life, I've stressed to her that she has to like herself and those names have no bearing on the person she is, which in my opinion is wonderful. She's bubbly, giggly, very caring about others, helpful, friends with anyone and doesn't get the mean girls (yeah they start in grade 2 ) who one day are your friend the next not and mean to you, she just loves most aspects of life. (OK she doesn't like going to bed, or picking up after herself but I never said perfect just wonderful LOL) I can tell the names are starting to bother her, and leads to some of the other kids (the mean girls) calling her names too.

Like the teacher said, it will not be an easy fix with this boy, he has zero impulse control almost, he has issues, and I understand that. She did say they may have to look at someone being with him at all unstructured times. But I don't want my easy child to start having issues either.

How much do you think I should let this go? My mom instincts are to get very up in their face over this as it's ongoing, while I sympathize with the other mom and she is getting him assessed. My difficult child was one who was just disruptive (kicking/throwing things, ripping paper, breaking pencils, hiding under his desk sort of stuff) not involving other kids, so I have no experience in the other end where the difficult child behaviors are against other kids, this case my kid

 

[meowbunny]

My daughter was picked on in grade school by one boy. Strangely, I handled it by getting the two to be friends. I would invite him over for play dates -- a HUGE relief for his mother because he definitely was a handful and a half. Once he decided she was his friend, he would defend her tooth and nail. Not even the mean girls dared say a thing around him about her. Obviously, given his issues, he would have to be supervised nonstop.

Your daughter would also have to agree to wanting to play with him -- wouldn't work otherwise. My daughter truly had no friends, so even a mean boy playing with her was better than nothing.

 

[klmno]

I like MB's idea. I guess you'd have to handle that carefully at their age- to make sure neither felt like they were being pressured into a boyfriend-girlfriend situation. I'm also wondering if you could approach (call) the Mom and let her know you understand difficult child issues but it is effecting your child so maybe problem-solve together. I know a lot of parents are reluctant to contact other parents, but I have always wished people would contact me before things got too out of hand. If she is the mother of a difficult child, I would think (hope) that she might be a little more understanding and willing to work through this.