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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 239390" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>I do not remember the author but there is a quote that always stood out to me it goes something like this "Parenthood is our last best chance at becomming an adult". While it does have alot of truth in it I do not think it should be applied to teen pregnancies or those involving a difficult child.</p><p></p><p>That said having been a foster parent for many and a child advocate for over 30 years I have to say this. I do not think any child should carry the burden of being the catalyst for a difficult child to turn around their life. Far too many difficult child parents fail to make the nessessary changes and the child suffers tremendously. </p><p></p><p>I worked with newborns and their single mothers for over ten years. I never pressured the parents one way or another that was not my job nor is it ethical. I had many mothers surrender their babies for adoption and I can honestly say that none did it easily but they definately did it out of love for their baby. Of those that did there were only two for whom I wished would have kept thir baby. I wished this because I felt they would have been very good mothers. They had good support systems and were good young adults that had unfortunately gotten pregnant under the wrong life circumstances. </p><p></p><p>I had many difficult child mothers that kept their babies that should not have and most of these children were eventually put into the foster care system or placed with relatives other than the parents due to neglect or abuse.</p><p></p><p>I have to ask isn't an unplanned pregnancy and a surrendered child enough to turnd one's life around if one is so inclined to change? I believe it should be and should catalize the change without putting an innocent child into a very difficult situation. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 239390, member: 2315"] I do not remember the author but there is a quote that always stood out to me it goes something like this "Parenthood is our last best chance at becomming an adult". While it does have alot of truth in it I do not think it should be applied to teen pregnancies or those involving a difficult child. That said having been a foster parent for many and a child advocate for over 30 years I have to say this. I do not think any child should carry the burden of being the catalyst for a difficult child to turn around their life. Far too many difficult child parents fail to make the nessessary changes and the child suffers tremendously. I worked with newborns and their single mothers for over ten years. I never pressured the parents one way or another that was not my job nor is it ethical. I had many mothers surrender their babies for adoption and I can honestly say that none did it easily but they definately did it out of love for their baby. Of those that did there were only two for whom I wished would have kept thir baby. I wished this because I felt they would have been very good mothers. They had good support systems and were good young adults that had unfortunately gotten pregnant under the wrong life circumstances. I had many difficult child mothers that kept their babies that should not have and most of these children were eventually put into the foster care system or placed with relatives other than the parents due to neglect or abuse. I have to ask isn't an unplanned pregnancy and a surrendered child enough to turnd one's life around if one is so inclined to change? I believe it should be and should catalize the change without putting an innocent child into a very difficult situation. -RM [/QUOTE]
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