Ant's latest adventure - red flags anyone? or is it just me?

[Mom2oddson]

Welcome to the newest chapter in the adventures of Ant.

We start this chapter with Ant coming home on Friday and annoucing how in love he is with his new girlfriend. (They met on Facebook 2-3 weeks ago). First thought I had was....Step 13 anyone? He's been out of rehab for one month and he's already in love. (flag?)

But that isn't the end of this chapter. As the weekend progresses, he tells us more and more about C. First we hear how C lives in a mansion in the north part of the county (a very rich area). Second, she's 17, turning 18 next week. Ant's already talked to her Daddy and it's cool after all her twin has a 22 yr old boyfriend and a kid too. (seeing any flags yet?)

But, now comes more news. Daddy is rich. He owns 17 dealerships - 7 in europe, some in Miami, some in California and some up here. And C has an 8 digit savings account. And Daddy is signing over ownership of one to the dealerships to her on her 18th b-day and now daddy is going to give Ant half owner ship. and, and, and.... (red flags anyone?)

Oh...did I mention that C and Ant want to buy husband a new Harley since his B-day was a couple of weeks ago? Ant is so thrilled and excited to be able to do this for husband and won't husband be excited? (and how are those flags looking now?)

I don't know what to think. Maybe everything is fine and I'm just a cynic....but I see one of two things.... 1) a difficult child playing games of delusions. or 2) a girl who gets whatever she wants and today - she wants Ant. She already told him she's getting married to him.

Give me your thoughts here. I could use a sounding board right now. Thanks.

 

[HaoZi]

My first thought is that Europe, Miami, Cali = more than cars going on. Do you have a full enough name to start doing some background research?

 

[Bean]

Yeah, I think I'd be the skeptic, too.

The last thing anyone who is out of rehab or working on recovery needs is to start a new relationship off by diving into "love" right away. Either way it isn't healthy, and thought it might be distracting, it probably keeps him from focusing on HIM. That's just my guess, not knowing too terribly much about it. But, even with a "normal" child, I wouldn't want them coming home telling me they met someone on FB a few weeks ago and are in love with them.

 

[DaisyFace]

Ummm....what?

I'm not wealthy - but one thing I know for sure about the rich is that they HOLD ON TO THEIR MONEY. So is Ant getting a gift of the family business? Not on your life!

Is the daughter? Maybe. Or maybe she thinks she is....and is sharing her delusional self-entitlement with Ant...the same way an about-to-be-sixteen-year-old assumes they will receive a fancy sportscar on their birthday.

So my first guess would be that new girlfriend is a liar - and Ant is falling for every word she says...

 

[Mom2oddson]

Oh thanks! It's not "Just Me". The saying "If it's too good to be true...." is playing in my head a lot. But, Ant is a 20 yr old difficult child who KNOWS EVERYTHING!

So, I will continue to work on the detachment skills. There is never a dull moment when you have a difficult child in your life.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

LMAO.....wow. If all that were true, he must have a horseshoe attached to his butt. LOL

 

[KFld]

Wow....wish my difficult child would find himself a girlfriend like that. LOL!! Huge red flags flying

 

[KTMom91]

What exactly is that guy "dealing?"

Oh, yeah, there are so many flags flying there must be a parade going by.

 

[Nancy]

I would be doing some background checking too. Big red flags for me too.

difficult child was told in rehab that she shoudl not start any relationship until she was out of rehab for at least a year. Of course that was like talking to a wall. She came out of rehab in relationships with several people she met in there and it continued from there.

Can't wait to hear what the real story is.

Nancy

 

[KFld]

I think difficult child's are so co-dependant that it is impossible for them to not be in a relationship. I know that is true for mine anyway. And of course the relationships they think are the greatest are always the most unhealthy ones.

 

[susiestar]

The car market here and in the rest of the world is in the TOILET. People with that many car dealerships are panicking right now because people are not buying at anything near the rate they were. This is lies and pipe dreams. Or else Daddy is an idiot who isn't a tenth as rich as he is supposed to be and will scheme to sue difficult child for everything he doesn't have after using him as a scapegoat to blame the failure of a business on.

If Daddy DOES have all that $$ and those dealerships? They are not dealing cars and harleys. Do not sign ANYTHING or accept ANYTHING. Explain that it is very sweet but you wnat them to have all that lovely money to set up their life and they should worry about themselves and not you - NOT hard for a difficult child to buy.

Background checks are only good if you reall ywant to know. It won't change anything except to make your kid furious. You cannot protect him from this lesson - so protect yourself and your assets. Make sure he is NOT on your insurance or anything else if at all possible so that YOUR finances are not entwined with his. Cause scammers with lies like this may try to use him to come after YOU - he gets into an accident and is liable for damages and is on your insurance and so they come after YOU because you have assets and he doesn't.

I am sorry.

 

[DammitJanet]

I would just let him have his pipe dreams. Who knows, maybe he will be one of the luckiest son's of a biscuit eaters. If not, maybe he will just get to enjoy a bit of rainbows and ponies for a while.

 

[Star*]

Send the kid a blanket -

This girl has a big enough fire to send up more signals than the entire Sioux nation.

 

[KFld]

Susiestar I agree about the background checks. I woudn't want to know if it was me, because in the end there is nothing that could be done about it. Ant is obviously in love, LOL, so anything you could come up with about her would just make him angry. I learned many years ago that it didn't matter what I told my son about someone, he didn't believe it until he saw it for himself.

Who knows?? Maybe she is for real and he will live his life happily ever after!!

 

[DammitJanet]

Amen Karen! Ahhh the good old days of wingnuts and dingbats...lmao. We couldnt have told them a thing even with it printed out and notarized!

 

[Hound dog]

Red flags all over the place.

Odds are this girl is either a royally spoiled brat and has tagged Ant as her male toy of the week........and securing that with plenty of carrot to keep him nipping at her heels......or she's one heckova liar.

Daddy would most likely grin and coddle daughter until such time he could get Ant alone and scare him off in a big way. The rich don't just hand their money out to anyone, nor car dealerships for that matter.

Sadly though the boy thinks himself in love and there is nothing you can possibly do to shatter his fantasy.

Like Janet I wouldn't do a thing nor utter a word. Once Miss Rich grows bored he will live and learn in a big way. If Daddy doesn't run him off first. lol

And if Daddy O is selling something other than cars..........he'll be chased away even faster.

 

[4timmy]

Ok hold up... has he only been communicating with this girl online? or has he met her in person already?
Who's to say she is even who she says she is....

 

[dashcat]

Been there a thousand times about the LUUUVVVVV thing. I used to try and point things out logically to her, until I realized that I may as well be speaking Swahili. Now I just nod and smile and listen and wait for that nanosecond in time when she might actually ask for - and listen to - my advice.

As to the rich girl/rich daddy? Who knows if any of it is true, but it's safe to assume he did not become rich - or stay rich - by handing over dealerships to people he barely knows.

If Ant is anything like Dashlet, fantasy is a big part of his world. Sounds like he's orbiting another planet right now.

Dash

 

[Mom2oddson]

I learned a long time ago that I can't tell Ant anything. So we are just letting him live in his little fantasy. The hard part is not laughing out loud when he's telling us all this stuff.

I don't know if he's actually met her in person or not. I know they talk on the phone all the time. (personally, I don't think he's met her)

I think the whole thing is phoney. Ant's been home since Friday because she's supposed to pick him up. Each day there is a different excuse. Yesterday, she was to get him after a dentist appointment. Didn't happen. She had to go help pack because they are moving to a new house. She was to come over as soon as she was done packing something. Didn't happen. Some how packing turned into a ride on a dirt bike where she took a jump wrong and broke her leg.

If Ant wants to live in this fantasy and buy it all Hook, Line and Sinker...Go for it.

However, my problem is because he's going to be part owner of this dealership....he's no longer doing anything. No GED, no Job Corp, no looking for a job. Just sitting at home waiting. And eating my cupboards bare! I forgot how much that kid could eat. And if I say anything....He and his girlfriend will buy me groceries so don't worry about it. Uhg!

 

[KFld]

Oh my lord!! All the stories of when she is supposed to come over and not showing up are the biggest red flags yet!! I can't believe he's buying all of this????

Oh wait, yes I guess I can