Anxiety Off the Charts!!!!!

[pasajes4]

My son will be home(if he does not mess up) the end of August. The closer it gets the worse my anxiety becomes. He has made progress in the program he was placed in. My anxiety has everything to do with him falling back into the same behaviors and friendships he had when he got arrested. I am starting to have nightmares and times when I can't sleep at all.

I have an appointment with a psychiatric and a therapist in July. I hate feeling this way. I am not keen on the idea of taking medication if an alternative method helps. It hasn't and will be happy to try medication if it will help get rid of this feeling of impending doom. I have been away from the daily stress long enough to know I don't want to ever live with the gut wrenching situation that had become my life. I am working on detchment, but when they are in your face, and because of their age you are financially responsible for their bad choices it is not easy.

 

[recoveringenabler]

I'm so sorry Pasajes, that feeling of impending doom is horrible and detachment is clearly more of a challenge when they are right in your face.............I hope the medication works for you. Do you do daily aerobic exercise? Just walking will help, bringing those endorphin's in to help with the feeling of dread. Deep breathing, meditation, acupuncture, going to the gym, talking to a girlfriend, these are all methods that help me. You may do them already, and have ideas of your own too, sometimes I have to do ALL of them to keep myself in a better place. Sending you hugs and saying a prayer for both you and your difficult child...............

 

[Dixies_fire]

Medication can really level yourself out. Unfortunately it might not be the right medicine at the right dosage at first. Try to keep an open mind if that happens it doesn't mean medications are useless it just means THIS medication isn't working for you.

I agree with recovering enabler and might even take it a step further. Wear yourself out with positive things that need to be done. It works with children it works during divorce it will work for you. Tackle a project at home you've been putting off, have a yard sale it takes a while to get it all together and the day of I promise you will be tired. Don't want to have a yard sale donate your clutter. Go to the park, find fun stuff to do around your area. Find a new recipe that might take a bit more skill then you usually apply to food. When you feel good about what you are doing it is more difficult to stress about the things you have no control over. You still have a month, enjoy your time. Try to think of one good positive thing about seeing your difficult child a day, i might even write it down and give it to him when he comes home. Doesn't matter what face he shows you when he receives it I promise he won't be completely unaffected by anything positive you come up with to say, or good memories you share.

Good luck

 

[Liahona]

It might help to have a plan of what to do if he is that bad when he comes home. If he ..... then I will..... That helps me realize that no matter what he does I can deal with it. You can write it down and then the paper holds it; you don't have to keep it in your heart/head.

 

[pasajes4]

Thank you for all of the suggestions. I do get sunshine and exercise everyday and it does help. I have a ton of projects that are getting done one by one and it feels great to have the freedom to get her done. I am also getting out with friends and enjoy it tremendously. I think my fear is that this nice life i have created for myself will get squashed by his inability to be by himself for more than hour without doing something that will wind up costing me time, tons of money. and a huge amount of resentment. I have a notebook of rewards and consequences for x behaviors. I just really don't want to give up any part of the life I have now. Thank you for letting me vent. I will get over it.