Anxiety's huge toll on 36

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MidwestMom, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Seriously, since the end of the custody battle, 36 has been like a different person. He is usually (not always) friendly and conversational and has even asked me a few times how *I* was doing!!! He has bought a new house in his son's school district, traded in his sports car, which was very impractical, and bought an Acura (whatever that is), and my grandson just got his first report card since the custody fight. Little J. got perfect marks both for academics and behavior. He's a very resilient kid and I'm thinking of visiting him again now that 36 is more sane.

    I'm really fascinated at how horrible anxiety effects 36. I'm not in any way excusing his horrible behavior, but he absolutely freaks out when nervous/anxious. And I do mean freaks out in the very severe meaning of the word.

    This was more an update/vent than expecting feedback. Things are finally pretty quiet and peaceful again here in the Frozen Tundra. J. is pregnant (gets to find out if it's a boy or girl in a few weeks!), Jumper is doing great and getting ready for college, Sonic is just his normal sweet self. 36 is actually civil and friendly and humorous when we talk.

    The quiet times are just so nice. I need to remember to value them.
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  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wahoo!! Glad things settled down. Maybe in time you express how pleasant he is when not stressed out. Might get him reflecting on the whys.

    sent from mobile phone
  3. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    Wonderful to read your update! Good for 36. Life can be so sweet....

  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great update MWM, you deserve the peace of mind!
  5. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Glad things are going well MWM!
  6. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    MWM, I am curious whether you think your changed response to 36's abuse plays any part in his changed attitude? All at once, it just hit me that YOU changed and then...36 changed.

    36 seems to have made alot of good changes, lately.

    What else is happening with him?

  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Cedar, not now because he isn't under pressure and life is good. He is ok when things are good. But when he was so horrible during the stress days, i think my refusal to talk to him when he was being abusive stopped some of his abuse. And, at the very least, when it got out of control, I hung up and refused to answer the phone for a day. So things were more peaceful for me. I usually said, before I hung up, "Call back when you can be respectful." But I still gave him a day off.
  8. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I haven't heard from my son since he called to thank husband for the Christmas money. (I had signed the card only husband. For myself? I drew a stick figure of a grandma showing her sharp teeth.)

    They probably all think I'm know.


    It sounds like you were a little more restrained.


  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LOL, Cedar. No, I didn't do that.
  10. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I love the grandma with the sharp teeth! I can see it in my minds eye and I really like it. My granddaughter tells me how much I've changed in the last few she says I can be scary. HA! I can't even articulate how funny that was to me..................feels like I'm finally balancing myself out!