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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 64312" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Got it now.......I understand what you are saying! :laugh: </p><p></p><p>It totally makes sense! I love the conversations and basic skill building you are doing with your oldest with conversations, and I think this type of thing every day is invaluable. To me, it sounds like you are training his brain to function on a higher level. </p><p></p><p>With the smaller one, I guess it just depends on what type of reaction playing cards by the rule invokes in him. This is where I do rely on Ross Greene's basket theory - if he is going to meltdown over not being able to play cards his own way, then I would say, whatever at this point. There will be lots of teaching time in his life - and if he wants to be creative and play his own games in his own little world, I think for now that is OK. My son, when he was that age was exactly the same way as your little difficult child - and what resulted was us taking turns in the rules to the games. Sometimes we would play his way, other times, my way. My difficult child is VERY creative...which it sounds like yours is too....and I never wanted to stifle his creativity for the sake of rules. in my opinion there had to be a compromise. Sometimes he made up rules that were brilliant, and better than the game - other times I was rolling my eyes - but regardless it was a happy medium between the 2 universes of out of control creativity and rigid reality.</p><p></p><p>I believe, that most of our difficult children are so brilliant in their own way - and I think it is so important to not only foster their creativity in this world that does not always appreciate it - but also to help them learn and implement limits and rules within their lives. It sounds like you are doing a great job of both.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 64312, member: 3301"] Got it now.......I understand what you are saying! [img]:laugh:[/img] It totally makes sense! I love the conversations and basic skill building you are doing with your oldest with conversations, and I think this type of thing every day is invaluable. To me, it sounds like you are training his brain to function on a higher level. With the smaller one, I guess it just depends on what type of reaction playing cards by the rule invokes in him. This is where I do rely on Ross Greene's basket theory - if he is going to meltdown over not being able to play cards his own way, then I would say, whatever at this point. There will be lots of teaching time in his life - and if he wants to be creative and play his own games in his own little world, I think for now that is OK. My son, when he was that age was exactly the same way as your little difficult child - and what resulted was us taking turns in the rules to the games. Sometimes we would play his way, other times, my way. My difficult child is VERY creative...which it sounds like yours is too....and I never wanted to stifle his creativity for the sake of rules. in my opinion there had to be a compromise. Sometimes he made up rules that were brilliant, and better than the game - other times I was rolling my eyes - but regardless it was a happy medium between the 2 universes of out of control creativity and rigid reality. I believe, that most of our difficult children are so brilliant in their own way - and I think it is so important to not only foster their creativity in this world that does not always appreciate it - but also to help them learn and implement limits and rules within their lives. It sounds like you are doing a great job of both. [/QUOTE]
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