SuZir
Well-Known Member
I could use some encouraging anecdotes about the matter. For me it doesn't sound like a good plan and I was hoping we could avoid that with difficult child. Looks like no such luck.
difficult child's favourite option for his next employer is a great fit sport wise. It is also abroad and will provide him a total break from his life. New environment, new people and lots of old baggage hopefully left home. One season deal. It gives him an opportunity to concentrate to his career and all that is very attractive to him.
Thing is that they require him to attend GA meeting twice a month. GM of the team is zealous long time AA member according to himself and real believer of the program. difficult child really don't like the idea, but thinks he will be able to fake it through those about 15 meetings he will have to attend.
difficult child is an agnostic leaning to atheism, immature, finds all twelve steps stupid and ridiculous, considers whole philosophy ineffective, outdated, religious bulls*** and whatnot. He also has huge trust issues and while his treatment had some group therapy, that was never for him. And circumstances considering, it will not be anonymous, so basically all difficult child has for a guarantee of confidentially is another gamblers' word. He very well knows that is not much. Our lawyer is not eager for difficult child talking much about issues he wants to keep private in that kind of group settings. There is no legal confidentially and tend to be rather gray area in confidentially perspective.
difficult child hasn't been gambling in two and half years now, has graduated from the treatment program he attended and I have to agree with him, that his main problems are currently something totally else than addiction issues. But the GM is from the school of thought, that all problems stem from addiction and addictive personality and when person works the steps, problems disappear.
For me that doesn't read like a good situation, but I try to promote difficult child to keep the open mind and not to judge before knowing more. That of course made him find 'The Big Book' and now he is reading it, making textual analyse of it and ridiculing and making sarcastic comments about every sentence. Still he doesn't want to pass this opportunity because of this.
There is a loop hole in his contract. He agrees to attend GA or other, more fitting treatment twice a month. And a person deciding if GA is fitting or something else is needed, is difficult child's treating psychiatrist. And there is an agreement he is not changing psychiatrist, but will use his current one even though he will be in different country. But it is short flight away and he has breaks, so it will possible for him to fly home three or four times during season for few days and book his psychiatrist appointments to those times. But first he has to try GA.
I hope he could take an attitude, that he takes what is useful for him and let's rest to be and just tries to find those useful things from the experience. I'm not holding my breath though. More likely he will sit there and make snide comments or be extremely showy and petulant. How much co-operation do these things require from coerced people to still count it a attendance?
And really does anyone have any encouraging stories how twelve steps could be beneficial even with this bad circumstances?
difficult child's favourite option for his next employer is a great fit sport wise. It is also abroad and will provide him a total break from his life. New environment, new people and lots of old baggage hopefully left home. One season deal. It gives him an opportunity to concentrate to his career and all that is very attractive to him.
Thing is that they require him to attend GA meeting twice a month. GM of the team is zealous long time AA member according to himself and real believer of the program. difficult child really don't like the idea, but thinks he will be able to fake it through those about 15 meetings he will have to attend.
difficult child is an agnostic leaning to atheism, immature, finds all twelve steps stupid and ridiculous, considers whole philosophy ineffective, outdated, religious bulls*** and whatnot. He also has huge trust issues and while his treatment had some group therapy, that was never for him. And circumstances considering, it will not be anonymous, so basically all difficult child has for a guarantee of confidentially is another gamblers' word. He very well knows that is not much. Our lawyer is not eager for difficult child talking much about issues he wants to keep private in that kind of group settings. There is no legal confidentially and tend to be rather gray area in confidentially perspective.
difficult child hasn't been gambling in two and half years now, has graduated from the treatment program he attended and I have to agree with him, that his main problems are currently something totally else than addiction issues. But the GM is from the school of thought, that all problems stem from addiction and addictive personality and when person works the steps, problems disappear.
For me that doesn't read like a good situation, but I try to promote difficult child to keep the open mind and not to judge before knowing more. That of course made him find 'The Big Book' and now he is reading it, making textual analyse of it and ridiculing and making sarcastic comments about every sentence. Still he doesn't want to pass this opportunity because of this.
There is a loop hole in his contract. He agrees to attend GA or other, more fitting treatment twice a month. And a person deciding if GA is fitting or something else is needed, is difficult child's treating psychiatrist. And there is an agreement he is not changing psychiatrist, but will use his current one even though he will be in different country. But it is short flight away and he has breaks, so it will possible for him to fly home three or four times during season for few days and book his psychiatrist appointments to those times. But first he has to try GA.
I hope he could take an attitude, that he takes what is useful for him and let's rest to be and just tries to find those useful things from the experience. I'm not holding my breath though. More likely he will sit there and make snide comments or be extremely showy and petulant. How much co-operation do these things require from coerced people to still count it a attendance?
And really does anyone have any encouraging stories how twelve steps could be beneficial even with this bad circumstances?