The "need for instant gratification" IS a need. Where does it come from? Why is he that way?
I don't have answers for your difficult child, of course.
But mine? Missed dxes, lacking appropriate interventions and accommodations at school, bullying, lack of friends, exhaustion, anxiety, depression... and the list goes on.
We're still fighting some of those items. And when they come up, so does this "neediness".
Each time around, though, he isn't stooping as low - snitching A chocolate bar, rather than the whole stack, or worse, money from my purse. And when we catch the little stuff, it isn't punished. It's a red flag, and we sit down with him and work it through. Because we can - we've gotten far enough to do that.
Having said all that... if there is a substance abuse problem, THAT changes the whole picture. The SA creates a different "neediness", and it's a whole different fix.
I don't have answers for your difficult child, of course.
But mine? Missed dxes, lacking appropriate interventions and accommodations at school, bullying, lack of friends, exhaustion, anxiety, depression... and the list goes on.
We're still fighting some of those items. And when they come up, so does this "neediness".
Each time around, though, he isn't stooping as low - snitching A chocolate bar, rather than the whole stack, or worse, money from my purse. And when we catch the little stuff, it isn't punished. It's a red flag, and we sit down with him and work it through. Because we can - we've gotten far enough to do that.
Having said all that... if there is a substance abuse problem, THAT changes the whole picture. The SA creates a different "neediness", and it's a whole different fix.