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General Parenting
Any idea why our kids steal and then deny doing it? No boundaries?
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 545646" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>I do agree that it is their internal needs not being met. Which would then explain the randomness of what's stolen. The problem then is addressing those needs - when you don't know what they are, and the difficult child won't open up enough to give you even a miniscule peek.</p><p></p><p>I had mentioned a long time ago that Onyxx was borderline hoarder. I understand why; her early life took so many abrupt turns, ups and downs - and every time it did she lost something that meant a lot to her (her father, multiple times; friends; and of course belongings - later her sister, her papaw, and her mother - once by abandonment and then death). She saw treasured belongings destroyed for revenge. It was an abandonment thing all along - so she kept things (even garbage) so they would be there for her. (She pushed at us, too, <em>sure</em> we would abandon her. And she thought we did, and then discovered we hadn't, even as others continued to.) The more secure she is in us loving her - the more <em>stuff</em> she throws away. She still has TONS of clothing (<em>much</em> more than can be accounted for, but that's an issue I will worry about later - and she <em>is</em> a teenager after all)... But there's not as much pure-D garbage in her room. And what's there is neatly stacked and put away (once you get past the tornado of clothes).</p><p></p><p>We still lock our bedroom, though. And keep the valuables there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 545646, member: 6705"] I do agree that it is their internal needs not being met. Which would then explain the randomness of what's stolen. The problem then is addressing those needs - when you don't know what they are, and the difficult child won't open up enough to give you even a miniscule peek. I had mentioned a long time ago that Onyxx was borderline hoarder. I understand why; her early life took so many abrupt turns, ups and downs - and every time it did she lost something that meant a lot to her (her father, multiple times; friends; and of course belongings - later her sister, her papaw, and her mother - once by abandonment and then death). She saw treasured belongings destroyed for revenge. It was an abandonment thing all along - so she kept things (even garbage) so they would be there for her. (She pushed at us, too, [I]sure[/I] we would abandon her. And she thought we did, and then discovered we hadn't, even as others continued to.) The more secure she is in us loving her - the more [I]stuff[/I] she throws away. She still has TONS of clothing ([I]much[/I] more than can be accounted for, but that's an issue I will worry about later - and she [I]is[/I] a teenager after all)... But there's not as much pure-D garbage in her room. And what's there is neatly stacked and put away (once you get past the tornado of clothes). We still lock our bedroom, though. And keep the valuables there. [/QUOTE]
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Any idea why our kids steal and then deny doing it? No boundaries?
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