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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 124567" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>thank u and you are very correct. it truly is flying by the seat of your pants, keeping fingers crossed, etc. </p><p></p><p>i think all of you are teaching me patience to be honest, i like immediate gratification. i have a hard time staying in the moment and i'm being forced to by all of this which i guess is a good learning tool for me.</p><p></p><p>I am depleting fast to be honest, it's taking alot out of me. I also have older difficult child who will be 15 who's giving me a run for my money at this point. she's totalling failing school. i can't drop ball on her at all either.</p><p></p><p>so my therapist said i'm in crisis mode right now, she also said boyfriend is trying the best he can adn has made improvements where i have requested, that he is always there to catch me support me and be there that i need to accept his support and stop fighitng it so much. he has sense made an enormous attempt wtih both my difficult child's to be kinder quieter a bit etc. which has helped so much just in a matter of a few nights. the kdis responded well also.</p><p></p><p>i also have this job that's really far away so i struggled everyday to get there via train today i drove 2 hours. </p><p></p><p>i am still to an extent chasing my tale with the job thing, yet i'm so afraid to leave. boyfriend tell sme to quit that i could find local job for same money adn not get so stressed everyday by this as well yet im afraid really afraid it's the one constant in my life. yet it is causing me great stress everyday getting there. i'm not there or here as much as id like to be or should be.</p><p></p><p>thanks for letting me ramble.</p><p></p><p>jen</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 124567, member: 4514"] thank u and you are very correct. it truly is flying by the seat of your pants, keeping fingers crossed, etc. i think all of you are teaching me patience to be honest, i like immediate gratification. i have a hard time staying in the moment and i'm being forced to by all of this which i guess is a good learning tool for me. I am depleting fast to be honest, it's taking alot out of me. I also have older difficult child who will be 15 who's giving me a run for my money at this point. she's totalling failing school. i can't drop ball on her at all either. so my therapist said i'm in crisis mode right now, she also said boyfriend is trying the best he can adn has made improvements where i have requested, that he is always there to catch me support me and be there that i need to accept his support and stop fighitng it so much. he has sense made an enormous attempt wtih both my difficult child's to be kinder quieter a bit etc. which has helped so much just in a matter of a few nights. the kdis responded well also. i also have this job that's really far away so i struggled everyday to get there via train today i drove 2 hours. i am still to an extent chasing my tale with the job thing, yet i'm so afraid to leave. boyfriend tell sme to quit that i could find local job for same money adn not get so stressed everyday by this as well yet im afraid really afraid it's the one constant in my life. yet it is causing me great stress everyday getting there. i'm not there or here as much as id like to be or should be. thanks for letting me ramble. jen [/QUOTE]
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