ANY SUGGESTIONS 4 SIBLING RIVALRY?!?!?!?

[Jessica mom of 2]

How do you stop the sibling rivalry?

I want to know that magic trick, haha yea right! My girls look out for one another when they aren't together. Like getting a sucker for her sister, or stickers or always saying something about the sister. But the minute they see each other its like pulling teeth to get them to be happy to see one another. They start argueing the second they see each other and it continues until bedtime. UGH!!! I want to scream and say, DO YOU JUST HATE EACH OTHER?!?!?!? Of course, that isn't reasonable to say. So I just go about my business and sometimes I ignore it and let them work it out, and sometimes it gets to a point where I have to intervene.

As you know, my oldest has severe ADHD, and is very hyper, extremely inplusive, so she doesn't help the situation.

My youngest difficult child, doesn't have a diagnosis, but she is a typical ODD, with some attention issues.

I would love to know what would be best to do when I come across a big fuss. What do some of you do? I am consistent and firm so they what is not acceptable behavior around our house. It doesn't matter what time of the day it is, they are fussing.


:nonono: :devil: :grrr: :hammer:

 

[SnowAngel]

I am an only child so having 6 kids arguing was new to me. Not sure this is the right thing to do, but my niece is 12 and my daughter is 14, boy do they fight. It makes me crazy some days. I get tired of being the go between. One day I was fed up and I decided to let them stay together all day. I got the idea off of the movie Parent Trap. They had to stay together all day in a room, but were allowed potty breaks. They sat next to each other when they ate. They did argue but I ignored it. Three days of ignoring them and it settled down a bit.

What kept them together? the consequences. If they were caught apart they would start loosing privelages. Pretty soon they are left with books and each other.


A teacher that I know was fed up in jr high with all the she did she said stuff. She gave every kid a notebook. When the kids had a problem they needed to write what the problem was and 3 ways on how it could be solved. Then if the kids still needed her help she would get involved, however the kids usually figured it out on their own.

 

[Indianamomof4]

If they are hitting each other, one great idea is to give them a small allowance each week, whatever you can afford, whether it's .50 or 5.00 and they earn it by doing a chore a day or something like that.

Then, if they hit each other, they have to give that person a set amount of money. The same can be said for saying mean things.

Kids above like 9 usually like money... Oh, I just saw that they are 7 and 5. Yikes, I don't think that would work as well unless your girls like having money of their own.

I have no other answer as I too have it with my two oldest... hopefully we can get some other ideas.

 

[helpmehelphim]

I didn't read all the responses so I'm sorry if I'm repeating here. Have you read "Siblings without Rivalry. How to Help your Children Live Together So That You Can Live Too" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish? It is really, really good and helped me with- my twins (12) a whole lot. It gives some really great suggestions and information that I had never even considered. Amazon.com used to have a good writeup about it.

Good luck! I feel you.

 

[Wiped Out]

I haven't figured out the answer to this one. We have tried different things but nothing has worked for long. I like Indiana's suggestion.