Any suggestions for home based behavior modification/self-regulation programs?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by WoeIsMe, Apr 13, 2013.

  1. WoeIsMe

    WoeIsMe New Member

    I know the Explosive Child is big around here. However, I'm look for more of an all inclusive program that's more step by step and visual for the the GTG (3 years old, working diagnosis of ADHD and ODD which a complete BS in my opinion. He probably has more of a mood disorder, in my opinion.). I love the Conscious Discipline approach of self-regulation but their kit is for the classroom. The Incredible Years training gets good reviews but the cost is over $1000. I think I've googled just about every combination I could think of but still can't find anything that's really useful for both parents and children.

    We do Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) but that can only get you so far. I've tried looking up classes through the social services website in the surrounding counties and the types of classes they offer are a joke. I attend a seminar at the Children's Hospital about Spirited Children and it was really a class about general parenting.

    I hope someone around here has a suggestion for home based behavior modification/self-regulation programs or even a therapy approach that I can inquire about with different psychiatric offices.

    *Thank you!
  2. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    Honestly, you're not going to find one that works. Period. Collectively, we have tried pretty much every program known to man. They just don't work. Those programs are meant to deal with "normal" kids displaying "normal" kid behavior that we don't like. OUR kids are wired very differently and while they may work for a little while, they are never successful.

    I agree that the ODD diagnosis is bogus but all that means is that you need to have a more thorough evaluation by someone with more knowledge and experience. ODD tells you that your child is oppositional and defiant. It does NOT tell you why and it does NOT offer any help to stop it or even deal with it. Find a GOOD neuropsychologist and maybe even a GOOD occupational therapist to do thorough evaluations and your little one.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I agree that no book's philosophy will be that helpful without outside help and that ODD is pretty not useful.

    I suggest a total evaluation, especially if he is having significant problems functioning. You need to get to the root cause and the earlier it's found, the better the overall prognosis.Also, in my opinion we are too emotionally involved in our kids to treat them...we need a cool head with a fresh perspective, minus the love we feel for our kids.

    Good luck!
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Trying to treat the symptoms without knowing the cause is like treating a fever without treating the infection... you may control the fever, but the infection keeps working and gets worse... kill the infection, and the fever goes away on its own.

    Until you know what you are "really" dealing with, anything you try will just be a stab in the dark - may work, may not work, or may make things worse.

    Can you tell us more about the behaviours and traits you are dealing with?
  5. WoeIsMe

    WoeIsMe New Member

    I'll have to make a signature so I can put everything we're going through in there.

    But in the short term I'm trying to find a neuropsychologist's in our area. We've pretty much exhausted all other options and there are no child neuropsychologist's in our area. Believe me, we're pretty knee deep already.

    I don't want to follow one specific program. I take bits and pieces from everything I can get my hands on. Before I read the book, Managing Emotional Mayhem, I didn't know the first thing about self-regulation and how important a skill that was to succeeding in life. Never had any therapist, Occupational Therapist (OT), social worker, psychologist, etc., tell me how important is it to validate my child's feelings. Even a normal adult would get pretty ****** off if someone you loved saw that you were clearly upset and just ignored you. The concept of self-regulation is important to me and I found out about it with no help from a professional. Even if I had an "easy" child, I would still try to get my hands on any program I could find that would teach me more about self-regulation in young children.

    I LOVE hearing what others are doing. I love hearing what works for other people. I've learned SO, SO much from these boards by just lurking. I have so many "I never thought of that moments." While I'm waiting for months to get get into to see the next "professional" in our line up, I want to read everything I can get my hands on so that I can educate myself and be able to have more meaningful conversations with those who have credentials behind their name while working on a pretty broken relationship with my child.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I wish you luck in whatever method you try. I do think you will need outside help and I don't think that therapists, unless trained in CBT or DBT, are very helpful. The other ones tend to spend/waste time blaming the family because their child was born differently wired. Nothing for a mom's ego and belief in herself like a kick in t he head from a therapist who is clueless and sadly many are. I share your dislike of many therapists a nd am very careful and choosey when picking one for myself. My autistic son does not see one. And he's fine without.

    Hang in there! We are all here for you!