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any suggestions would be appreciated
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 385360" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome</p><p></p><p>And I'm going to be speaking here as a child sexual abuse victim, so bare with me as I'm not sure what you'd be allowed to do or not to do as the foster parents.</p><p></p><p>Based on her pointing out this man is the person who sexually abused her and visits with him have triggered this behavior it can be 2 things. </p><p></p><p>1. Just visiting has triggered the regression. </p><p>2. There is the possibility he is abusing her again unless these visits are supervised by someone outside the family unit.</p><p></p><p>A child soiling themselves in this situation isn't really a regression in toilet training, it's not to be bad. Doubtful any sort of discipline is going to work. It's a subconscious way to draw attention to the abuse, either past or what may be going on now.</p><p>Unfortunately due to her age........you're going to have to be very very careful with asking her about it. Because a child so young is going to be seen as susceptible to power of suggestion by the authorities involved. </p><p></p><p>How is your cw with children's services? Do you think she would listen to your concerns and have this child professionally evaled to see what is going on? </p><p></p><p>If I were dealing with it............. I would clean up the mess with little or no comment. Reassure her that you as her foster parents care for her and are trying to keep her safe.</p><p></p><p>The sad part of all this is at her age she is not a reliable witness even to her own abuse. Unless a physical exam by a doctor trained on what to look for can varify sexual abuse has taken place.....and hopefully pinpoint a time frame due to findings (slim, but possible) or her cw with children's services is experienced enough to recognize that such regressive behavior is a huge red flag no matter what the child says is going on or not going on.........not much can be done.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can help this child and I hope children services gains enough information to stop visitation with this person permanently for this child's sake.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 385360, member: 84"] Welcome And I'm going to be speaking here as a child sexual abuse victim, so bare with me as I'm not sure what you'd be allowed to do or not to do as the foster parents. Based on her pointing out this man is the person who sexually abused her and visits with him have triggered this behavior it can be 2 things. 1. Just visiting has triggered the regression. 2. There is the possibility he is abusing her again unless these visits are supervised by someone outside the family unit. A child soiling themselves in this situation isn't really a regression in toilet training, it's not to be bad. Doubtful any sort of discipline is going to work. It's a subconscious way to draw attention to the abuse, either past or what may be going on now. Unfortunately due to her age........you're going to have to be very very careful with asking her about it. Because a child so young is going to be seen as susceptible to power of suggestion by the authorities involved. How is your cw with children's services? Do you think she would listen to your concerns and have this child professionally evaled to see what is going on? If I were dealing with it............. I would clean up the mess with little or no comment. Reassure her that you as her foster parents care for her and are trying to keep her safe. The sad part of all this is at her age she is not a reliable witness even to her own abuse. Unless a physical exam by a doctor trained on what to look for can varify sexual abuse has taken place.....and hopefully pinpoint a time frame due to findings (slim, but possible) or her cw with children's services is experienced enough to recognize that such regressive behavior is a huge red flag no matter what the child says is going on or not going on.........not much can be done. I hope you can help this child and I hope children services gains enough information to stop visitation with this person permanently for this child's sake. [/QUOTE]
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