Finally got my difficult children grown. Older one has become a person I actually like and respect. Younger one still has problems but, at this point, he is married with 3 kids and I try not to let him make him my responsibility. I do keep his middle child on weeknights and do homework and get him to kindergarten each morning. He is a good kid; taking medications for ADHD at what I consider too early an age but his school experience has improved about 100% since he started the medications so who can argue with success? Anyway, my life is more peaceful than it's been since my difficult children were born. But now? I have the responsibility of taking care of my mother. She's 97; she's very good physically (for her age): sleeps well, eats well, has no aches or pains, has nothing "big" wrong with her....except she has either dementia or beginning Alzheimers and I am losing my mind. I am an only child so there is nobody else to look after her but me. She can't come live with me as all of my bedrooms are on the second floor (she is VERY unsteady on her feet) and I don't believe I could get her into or out of my bathtub. She lives in an apartment for the elderly..not really independent living but they do keep an eye on them. So far, she knows everybody, doesn't wander off and get lost, and is pretty much able to function where she is. I want to keep here there as long as possible as it is home to her and she is comfortable there. That means I have to take her her medications every day (it is a 15 mile drive, roundtrip), call her morning and night to remind her to take the medications, keep track of all of her apointments and get her to them, do her shopping and cleaning, do her laundry, do her financial business, etc. So far she is agreeable to whatever I suggest. She remembers to do things like turn off the stove but if you are talking to her she can't remember ANYTHING. Sometimes she asks a question and if it is a long answer she may ask the same question again before you've finished answering it the first time. She has always been almost anal about being clean and neat but now I have to remind her to bathe, make her change her clothes or she would wear the same thing for weeks at a time, take out her garbage, wash her dishes, etc. Because of finances, hiring somebody to help is not possible. Younger difficult child lives near and is good about going and checking if she doesn't answer her phone and things like that but he works full time and daughter-in-law has at least one kid there at all times and is not somebody that I could rely on to be there regularly. I guess I'm posting not so much to get advice as to have someplace to "let it out." I'm just wondering if there are any others here in similar situations. I could use "a safe place to land" for people with dependents on the other end of the age spectrum from what we usually deal with here.