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Anyone else dealing with a pathological/compulsive liar?
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 429116" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>My DD1 told her first whopper of a lie at 3 1/2. Not just the normal "no, I didn't do it", but tacked on was an ELABORATE cover story. I was concerned but not freaked out yet. As she got older, the lies got more elaborate and more pointless - ie "We had a pizza party in school today" when there was no party. What's the point of such a lie? She was about 5 at this point so I started gently calling her out on them and calling the pointless ones 'stories' as opposed to outright lies. I would warn teachers about this behavior and gave examples of how subtle and realistic they could be and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact me and let me know if anything she said seemed iffy. The most I got was reports about the "bragging" lies where kids try to one up each other, about weekend events, vacations, etc. Fast forward to 2nd grade (7-8yo) Her Dad had left, and I found out that not only was he a compulsive liar, that he was delusional as well. At this point I'm petrified. This has got to stop or she'll end up just like him. EVERY time I caught her in a lie, we would have a long - gentle and calm - discussion about the difference between lies and stories. The importance of telling the truth, and being able to tell a good story, and letting your 'audience' know, at least at the very end, that it's a story. The importance of trust and being trusted. She loved to read, so I also started guiding her to write down her elaborate stories. Once I did ask her why she made up the pointless stories and why she tried to hold on to them so tightly as the truth, and she told me because they were more interesting than real life, and she'd rather live in her 'stories' So we talked more about how AMAZING real life is and how even more amazing books and cartoons, and movies AND her stories are but these are just for escaping life temporarily - not for always.</p><p></p><p>Some way, some how, she got it. Or maybe that's when depression started creeping in along with intrusive thoughts that took the place of her 'stories' or need for them. She still lies. Mostly to try and get away with stuff, but it doesn't seem any worse than "regular" kids. On rare occasion she'll succeed in lying to me, but eventually come around and confess. The redirection has paid off since now she's also an avid writer and was chosen to represent her school at the Young Author's Conference a few weeks ago.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 429116, member: 11965"] My DD1 told her first whopper of a lie at 3 1/2. Not just the normal "no, I didn't do it", but tacked on was an ELABORATE cover story. I was concerned but not freaked out yet. As she got older, the lies got more elaborate and more pointless - ie "We had a pizza party in school today" when there was no party. What's the point of such a lie? She was about 5 at this point so I started gently calling her out on them and calling the pointless ones 'stories' as opposed to outright lies. I would warn teachers about this behavior and gave examples of how subtle and realistic they could be and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact me and let me know if anything she said seemed iffy. The most I got was reports about the "bragging" lies where kids try to one up each other, about weekend events, vacations, etc. Fast forward to 2nd grade (7-8yo) Her Dad had left, and I found out that not only was he a compulsive liar, that he was delusional as well. At this point I'm petrified. This has got to stop or she'll end up just like him. EVERY time I caught her in a lie, we would have a long - gentle and calm - discussion about the difference between lies and stories. The importance of telling the truth, and being able to tell a good story, and letting your 'audience' know, at least at the very end, that it's a story. The importance of trust and being trusted. She loved to read, so I also started guiding her to write down her elaborate stories. Once I did ask her why she made up the pointless stories and why she tried to hold on to them so tightly as the truth, and she told me because they were more interesting than real life, and she'd rather live in her 'stories' So we talked more about how AMAZING real life is and how even more amazing books and cartoons, and movies AND her stories are but these are just for escaping life temporarily - not for always. Some way, some how, she got it. Or maybe that's when depression started creeping in along with intrusive thoughts that took the place of her 'stories' or need for them. She still lies. Mostly to try and get away with stuff, but it doesn't seem any worse than "regular" kids. On rare occasion she'll succeed in lying to me, but eventually come around and confess. The redirection has paid off since now she's also an avid writer and was chosen to represent her school at the Young Author's Conference a few weeks ago. [/QUOTE]
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Anyone else dealing with a pathological/compulsive liar?
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