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General Parenting
Anyone else dealing with a pathological/compulsive liar?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 429167" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am going to share what my 27 year old daughter (now a perfect easy child, so there is hope) said about her lying when she was young. It was troubling lying too, not the sort to try to get out of trouble, at least when she was in her early yars.</p><p></p><p>Her most baffling lie was telling the kids at her late elementary school that her father worked for a candy company and then she could get candy whenever she wanted to. Then, unknown to us or to the stores she stole from, she would shoplift candy and hand it out and perpetrate the lie. This was a dangerous foreshadowing of later behavior for her. Once she was finally stopped, she said (and I believe her as she was terribly shy) that "I just wanted to make friends. Nobody pays attention to me." It was really sad the way she said it and we did get her into therapy. However, the same issue morphed as a teenager.</p><p></p><p>We moved to a new state and she was, of course, still very shy and sat alone at lunch and was very lonely. To gain attention, she started using drugs and was suddenly the most popular girl at school and very able to talk and be a lot of fun when she was high or drunk. This happened at age twelve (although again we did not know it at the time). She could stare us in the eyes without wavering and lie that she hated drugs and drinking, even while she was high.</p><p></p><p> She took drugs until age nineteen, and got very involved in them and has told us stories about her life then that scare me to death. The point of my story is that tapping into our children's minds isn't easy, but early behavior can sometimes persist and worsen. </p><p></p><p>My daughter was not a defiant or difficult child. She didn't cuss at us or fight with us. She simply wanted her peers to like her and didn't know how to gain attention in more acceptable ways. It is interesting to talk to her as a responsible adult and to learn what made her tick as a kid. There are many reasons why a child may make up stories, which I think is a bit different than lying to get out of trouble (although these kids tend to be VERY good at THAT too as time goes on)...</p><p></p><p>My daughter is a VERY creative person. That makes it's easier to come up with phenomenal stories.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 429167, member: 1550"] I am going to share what my 27 year old daughter (now a perfect easy child, so there is hope) said about her lying when she was young. It was troubling lying too, not the sort to try to get out of trouble, at least when she was in her early yars. Her most baffling lie was telling the kids at her late elementary school that her father worked for a candy company and then she could get candy whenever she wanted to. Then, unknown to us or to the stores she stole from, she would shoplift candy and hand it out and perpetrate the lie. This was a dangerous foreshadowing of later behavior for her. Once she was finally stopped, she said (and I believe her as she was terribly shy) that "I just wanted to make friends. Nobody pays attention to me." It was really sad the way she said it and we did get her into therapy. However, the same issue morphed as a teenager. We moved to a new state and she was, of course, still very shy and sat alone at lunch and was very lonely. To gain attention, she started using drugs and was suddenly the most popular girl at school and very able to talk and be a lot of fun when she was high or drunk. This happened at age twelve (although again we did not know it at the time). She could stare us in the eyes without wavering and lie that she hated drugs and drinking, even while she was high. She took drugs until age nineteen, and got very involved in them and has told us stories about her life then that scare me to death. The point of my story is that tapping into our children's minds isn't easy, but early behavior can sometimes persist and worsen. My daughter was not a defiant or difficult child. She didn't cuss at us or fight with us. She simply wanted her peers to like her and didn't know how to gain attention in more acceptable ways. It is interesting to talk to her as a responsible adult and to learn what made her tick as a kid. There are many reasons why a child may make up stories, which I think is a bit different than lying to get out of trouble (although these kids tend to be VERY good at THAT too as time goes on)... My daughter is a VERY creative person. That makes it's easier to come up with phenomenal stories. [/QUOTE]
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Anyone else dealing with a pathological/compulsive liar?
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