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General Parenting
Anyone else dealing with difficult child that seems angry more often than not?
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 493998" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>First, yes, i can relate once again..... When Q was younger I remember saying I didn't care if he learned to read or write or do math... I just hoped he would be happy in the future, he even rarely smiled!</p><p></p><p>I will tell you this, once we got to the bottom of some of the issues, he did so much better. </p><p></p><p>He was not reading emotions well. He could not really tell how he felt so we used a lot of pictures. Sometimes when kids are verbal we miss how limited their use of language might be. Also how much they may be overwhelmed by conversation going on around them. Everything in their world is so out of control that they are grumpy about it. </p><p></p><p>My son is hugely triggered by more than one person talking at a time. He just has to interject comments. It used to be mostly negative/mean. Now he tries to make jokes and says silly things that are often really really inappropriate. </p><p></p><p>Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) often do not know how to be a part of a back and forth conversation so they just comment on everything. And as I said, for some reason...some of our kids tend toward the negative. It sure can be wearing. </p><p></p><p>It is actually not a bad idea to help teach scripts by modeling etc. Forcing him to say things will probably end in a power struggle that is not worth it. But Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids often do need direct teaching which means they do not pick up the way to talk or do things by just being around it. They need us to really help them learn specifically how to handle different situations. </p><p></p><p>He is young enough that you can do lots of social stories that you can make up ...short on a page on a computer.... use pictures (if you have not bought boardmaker yet...you might want to do that but these days you can find lots of pics on the internet) and simple words. </p><p></p><p>He very likely has NO CLUE how his words affect you and will affect baby sib. Even if you look and sound angry, it probably does not register that he is causing it or maybe even what you really are feeling.</p><p></p><p>These are great things to ask how they are handling in school so you can share the same types of teaching at home. They may even be willing to make social stories for you to bring home... I used to do that all the time for families if they asked. </p><p></p><p>Getting a handle on these things is always an adventure. Rarely is it what it seems on the surface at our house. You might find the same. HUGS to you are hubby....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 493998, member: 12886"] First, yes, i can relate once again..... When Q was younger I remember saying I didn't care if he learned to read or write or do math... I just hoped he would be happy in the future, he even rarely smiled! I will tell you this, once we got to the bottom of some of the issues, he did so much better. He was not reading emotions well. He could not really tell how he felt so we used a lot of pictures. Sometimes when kids are verbal we miss how limited their use of language might be. Also how much they may be overwhelmed by conversation going on around them. Everything in their world is so out of control that they are grumpy about it. My son is hugely triggered by more than one person talking at a time. He just has to interject comments. It used to be mostly negative/mean. Now he tries to make jokes and says silly things that are often really really inappropriate. Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) often do not know how to be a part of a back and forth conversation so they just comment on everything. And as I said, for some reason...some of our kids tend toward the negative. It sure can be wearing. It is actually not a bad idea to help teach scripts by modeling etc. Forcing him to say things will probably end in a power struggle that is not worth it. But Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids often do need direct teaching which means they do not pick up the way to talk or do things by just being around it. They need us to really help them learn specifically how to handle different situations. He is young enough that you can do lots of social stories that you can make up ...short on a page on a computer.... use pictures (if you have not bought boardmaker yet...you might want to do that but these days you can find lots of pics on the internet) and simple words. He very likely has NO CLUE how his words affect you and will affect baby sib. Even if you look and sound angry, it probably does not register that he is causing it or maybe even what you really are feeling. These are great things to ask how they are handling in school so you can share the same types of teaching at home. They may even be willing to make social stories for you to bring home... I used to do that all the time for families if they asked. Getting a handle on these things is always an adventure. Rarely is it what it seems on the surface at our house. You might find the same. HUGS to you are hubby.... [/QUOTE]
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Anyone else dealing with difficult child that seems angry more often than not?
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