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Anyone have a copy of - When Parents Hurt?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 339408" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Suz, thanks as always for the link. </p><p> </p><p>klmno - you know you bring up an interesting point. When you talk about generations and parents it's a whole different world. Sometimes I wonder how my Mom's generation ever survived. I find some of the thoughts of their time very black and white (literally) and while I was raised during the tail end of those years? I don't subscribe to the narrow-mindedness of the general area where I was raised. </p><p> </p><p>Some of the phrases and ideals, stereotypes that MY Mom was raised with are very much ingrained in her day to day persona so much that if you're not careful and delicate you can get an earful. It's sometimes a delicate balancing act of respecting her as a Mom and finding common ground as a person; not just a daughter with a thinking mind and opinions of her own. </p><p> </p><p>As a child? We were seen and not heard - ever. I swear I think it's why I talk so much now. I had 1/2 a life time to make up for. lol. If we went to someone's house for a visit that didn't have children? There, in a chair, and that's where you were-period. Sitting, didn't move, did not ask for a thing until Mom was done with her tea and or someone asked maybe if you would like a cookie in their kitchen. Then you left. It's probably why I dislike visiting people today. </p><p> </p><p>So there are a lot of things that their generation is quirky about and hard core about and their thinking and ideas can roll you over. It's a good bit of negative thinking too. They had a lot to over come. I try to keep that in mind. My Mother was a product of the depression, very poor, extremely abused, sickly and mostly raised by immigrant grandparents. I'm not sure there has been a time in her life that there wasn't a war going on somewhere in the world, or some major sacrafice - she used to wash aluminum foil and dry it. She saves everything always thinking there's a use for it. But on occasion - the way she'll answer things...I can hear a generation gap in her answers. I love her, we'll never see eye to eye on it all - but I'm glad she at least had the foresight to say "See it your way." and broke the cycle. </p><p> </p><p>Sounds like you found a way to do that without help from your Mom. You should be very proud of yourself. It would have been a lot easier to just be the same you know?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 339408, member: 4964"] Suz, thanks as always for the link. klmno - you know you bring up an interesting point. When you talk about generations and parents it's a whole different world. Sometimes I wonder how my Mom's generation ever survived. I find some of the thoughts of their time very black and white (literally) and while I was raised during the tail end of those years? I don't subscribe to the narrow-mindedness of the general area where I was raised. Some of the phrases and ideals, stereotypes that MY Mom was raised with are very much ingrained in her day to day persona so much that if you're not careful and delicate you can get an earful. It's sometimes a delicate balancing act of respecting her as a Mom and finding common ground as a person; not just a daughter with a thinking mind and opinions of her own. As a child? We were seen and not heard - ever. I swear I think it's why I talk so much now. I had 1/2 a life time to make up for. lol. If we went to someone's house for a visit that didn't have children? There, in a chair, and that's where you were-period. Sitting, didn't move, did not ask for a thing until Mom was done with her tea and or someone asked maybe if you would like a cookie in their kitchen. Then you left. It's probably why I dislike visiting people today. So there are a lot of things that their generation is quirky about and hard core about and their thinking and ideas can roll you over. It's a good bit of negative thinking too. They had a lot to over come. I try to keep that in mind. My Mother was a product of the depression, very poor, extremely abused, sickly and mostly raised by immigrant grandparents. I'm not sure there has been a time in her life that there wasn't a war going on somewhere in the world, or some major sacrafice - she used to wash aluminum foil and dry it. She saves everything always thinking there's a use for it. But on occasion - the way she'll answer things...I can hear a generation gap in her answers. I love her, we'll never see eye to eye on it all - but I'm glad she at least had the foresight to say "See it your way." and broke the cycle. Sounds like you found a way to do that without help from your Mom. You should be very proud of yourself. It would have been a lot easier to just be the same you know? [/QUOTE]
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