Anyone have a guardian ad litem (lawyer for child) appointed (see more)

[witzend]

Im very surprised she didnt put on her best face for that mediation because here, if the parents cant come to a reasonable parenting plan which the mediator thinks is fair, the judge frowns upon the one who was most irritating.

In most states if there is no agreement in mediation that is the only report that can be made. "No agreement". That's when the finger pointing begins outside of mediation.

 

[BusynMember]

I'm not sure what that means, but mediation is pretty useless in Missouri if one of the two parents refuse to settle. Ex told my son straight out before they went that she would never settle and she wants to go to trial for full custody. She was forced to show up, but she told the mediator she would not settle and it wasn't held against her and I'm not even sure the GAL will see the report...or if she does, if she'll care. Seems like the GALs are all very different and now it also seems to me that all states are different too. There has been no fallout from mediation and my son is smart enough not to bash his ex. THat's frowned upon big time. Instead he is concentrating on what he has and will offer his child as his father, which is the way to go.

You learn to play the game. And it is a game.

 

[DammitJanet]

The GAL will probably see the report.

Im glad your son is smart enough not to bash the mom because kids will tell all. Little J is not that much younger that the child in my life and she tells everything that is said about everyone. We have always been very careful to only say good things about her and her life in front of the child. I know thats not true in the reverse manner because of what I hear. Children are human parrots.

If your son behaves well when with Little J, he will come out well. Does he have friends who see him with J? I might even consider starting to take him to a park where parents go all the time and get friendly with the parents there so that they could be witnesses to how well he parents Little J when out. Or because of J's age, get him involved in some sport or class where your son is an active participant. Sort of like me taking one to dancing when younger. No one could say I wasnt attentive because I stayed every time and helped out.

 

[DDD]

In Fl. GAL's have access to all reports so I assume that it true there also. It is scarey to think how much power the GAL has, I know, but in cases where a GAL has not been appointed the child's future is determined by a social worker who is always overworked, a Judge who often sees the file for the first time in Court and sometimes attorneys who are bias on behalf of who is paying the fee. Obviously the GAL does not "decide" the issue but does provide an indepth overview for consideration by the Court. "If" the GAL has done a thorough investigation the child's chances of an appropriate placement is greatly enhanced. DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

That sounds completely logical because why else would they have GAL's. If nothing they said was given any weight in court it would be useless and a waste of time and money in the states that actually use lawyers because I doubt they work for free.

 

[witzend]

I'm not sure what that means, but mediation is pretty useless in Missouri if one of the two parents refuse to settle.

Mediation is useless everywhere when people refuse to settle. But in most (if not all) states the only information about an unsettled mediation that can be released is that there was no settlement reached. There's never any fault attributed to anyone. It's not a family study or a psychiatric evaluation, it's just an attempt to settle before court and if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen and that is all anyone can present to the Court or GAL. All contested custody matters are referred to mediation and both parties must attend, but that's the only requirement.

In Missouri, mediation in child custody matters is confidential, and the final disposition of the mediation is released to the court for review. So, if there is no agreement in mediation, that's the limit of what the court by law can know about mediation - "no resolution".

http://www.courts.mo.gov/hosted/circuit13/other/mediation.htm

 

[BusynMember]

Son has neighbors who will vouch for him as well as Little J's last daycare provider who watched him for two years.

Little J. is like a parrot. You say it, he repeats it.

 

[witzend]

In Fl. GAL's have access to all reports so I assume that it true there also.

The only report from a mediation that results in no resolution is essentially a three sentence form letter with check boxes for:

1) Resolved, See attached agreement;

2) Partially resolved, See attached agreement;

3) Unresolved.

I think that "mediation" is being misinterpreted here. Mediation is an attempt to make an agreement with the help of someone with the legal knowledge to be able to say, "that's legal, you can do that"; or "that's illegal, you can't do that". They can give suggestions, like, "Well, if he took weekends, would you let him have legal custody?" or "Can you agree to use the same day care as he does?"

An agreement reached in mediation is voluntary and the process is confidential.

An ruling reached in arbitration is binding and could be made with neither party's consent. Arbitration is not confidential.

There are GAL's, Family Studies, court ordered as well as privately paid for psychiatric evaluations, all sorts of stuff that is not confidential. But mediation is always confidential.