anyone have a joke??

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, May 2, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    yes i'm actually asking for a JOKE!!! i need a good laugh about now. i'm holding my own as we all are. yet i need a little somethin' somethin' to make my irritable self laugh!!!

    this may be a good thread.......... weird but good. ok so who has one???

  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I positively stink at remembering jokes.

    Maybe I should loan you Aubrey for a day or two. All she'd need to do is call you up on the phone. She makes me smile and laugh everyday.

    Typical Phone Call From Miss Aubrey...................who told her mother that since she's going to be 5, she ought to be able to say grown up words and work at mc donalds................

    Phone Rings. 30 seconds of silence...........the following is LOUD as she doesn't think her voice carries through Mommies itty bitty cell phone:

    Miss Aubrey: NaaaaaaNaaaaaaa! (loud super excited screech) long pause.......... Guess what I did today?

    Me: Hello Aubrey. What did you do today? (trying not to crack up cuz the way she says Nana on the phone is somethin' lol )

    Miss Aubrey: I played T Ball, Nana! And I got a hat, and I got to hit the ball. And you know what? Seriously, you know what? Cuz you won't believe it! If you put your glove on the ground you can catch the ball in it!!! Can you believe that Nana??

    Me: Wow! Really? And did you catch the ball?

    Miss Aubrey: Oh yes, of course I did. I put my glove right on the ground and the ball went into it! And you know what Nana? I got to SLIDE! I got to slide right into the base! And I got all dirty on my pants. It was soooooo COOL!!

    All this said with such enthusiasm that I'm having to hold the phone 4 inches from my ear to be able to make out what she's saying. :rofl:

    Oh, and that 30 seconds of silence? Every phone call. We've decided it takes her 30 seconds to wind up so she can get that NaaaaaaNaaaaaa out.

    Ok, so not a joke. But maybe you at least got a smile from it.

  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Okay, clean & easy to remember....

    Where do bees go to the bathroom? The B(ee) P(ee) station.:groan:

    Another ...

    A man walks into a bar ~ he says ouch!:bigsmile:
  4. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Here are a couple that make me laugh:

    A patient was in therapy when he confided: "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."

    A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The incredulous dog looked at him in amazement and replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

    [/FONT] [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    ...Me too... The bad part about the redneck stuff is, I get it, though I am (according to my Mother) a "city kid".

    I like the real life funnies. Like Jett informing me that the battery was dead on his solar-powered calculator.