klmno
Active Member
Poor planning showed up as an issue on his neuropsychologist test (2 1/2 yrs ago) and it's still an issue with school. If he has projects assigned for 2-3 weeks away and other things to account for (regular homework, therapist visits, holiday, etc) he never plans ahead. This is becoming more and more of an issue and I can see it at home in other areas. I remind him and try to help him- but it is to no avail.
He is a hard worker and does a good job and it isn't very hard to get him started- usually. But, as an example, I gave him a list of several things he needed to do before vacation and if he did them before the day we're supposed to leave, he would have earned spending money and we could leave on time. If he didn't have them done, we would have to leave a day later because I would have to do them. (I'm sure he was motivated) He did a little 2 weekends ago, then last weekend, instead of just straightening his bedroom, he decided to go thru everything that was put away in a box or anywhere. So last Sunday night, he didn't even have his bedroom finished - but, his closets were cleared of cluttered and completely organized. His school supplies and backpack are organized and ready for school (organization is an intermittent issue). Then, today, I left work early and we came home. I told him he still had X, Y, and Z to do and he needed to think about only spending a certain amount of time on each thing so he could get finished (we're supposed to leave tomorrow.)
First, he procrastinates, then he gets upset with me because he says the "chore list" isn't fair- there isn't enough on mine. Why am I not doing such-and-such (I'm doing laundry, dinner, cleaning kitchen, etc). So, he says he'll straighten the living room, after he runs the trimmer next to neighbors driveway. I had to go after him and run the trimmer again because he did such a poor job. Then, I had to go after him and sweep their driveway again. I swear, usually the kid is a great worker, but when it's important, or there's a deadline, or he feels pressure (?? I don't know??) he can't get squat accomplished.
I fussed a little- he raged some (twice) but reeled himself in before he got out of control. He's been a little hypomanic the past few days (overly excited- fast talking, can't sleep, etc) but usually, when he's hypomanic, he works more and does a better job.
So- does anyone have any techniques for this? It would help at home and school. His IEP allows some (minimal) extension of time on projects due if he isn't stable, but I'd rather be using strategies that actually teach him how to do better about it- without stressing out and having a melt-down. It's difficult because on this issue, he just refuses to accept my guidance ahead of time. Then, if it's a project due at school and he only completes "minimally acceptable" because that's all the time he has left, he gets so upset that it isn't good enough, he'll refuse to turn it in or have a melt-down over that.
Suggestions?
Is it more of a typical teen thing than a difficult child thing- like sometimes we feel like we wouldn't mind doing something if we didn't feel like we had to? How do I get him out of this habit?
He is a hard worker and does a good job and it isn't very hard to get him started- usually. But, as an example, I gave him a list of several things he needed to do before vacation and if he did them before the day we're supposed to leave, he would have earned spending money and we could leave on time. If he didn't have them done, we would have to leave a day later because I would have to do them. (I'm sure he was motivated) He did a little 2 weekends ago, then last weekend, instead of just straightening his bedroom, he decided to go thru everything that was put away in a box or anywhere. So last Sunday night, he didn't even have his bedroom finished - but, his closets were cleared of cluttered and completely organized. His school supplies and backpack are organized and ready for school (organization is an intermittent issue). Then, today, I left work early and we came home. I told him he still had X, Y, and Z to do and he needed to think about only spending a certain amount of time on each thing so he could get finished (we're supposed to leave tomorrow.)
First, he procrastinates, then he gets upset with me because he says the "chore list" isn't fair- there isn't enough on mine. Why am I not doing such-and-such (I'm doing laundry, dinner, cleaning kitchen, etc). So, he says he'll straighten the living room, after he runs the trimmer next to neighbors driveway. I had to go after him and run the trimmer again because he did such a poor job. Then, I had to go after him and sweep their driveway again. I swear, usually the kid is a great worker, but when it's important, or there's a deadline, or he feels pressure (?? I don't know??) he can't get squat accomplished.
I fussed a little- he raged some (twice) but reeled himself in before he got out of control. He's been a little hypomanic the past few days (overly excited- fast talking, can't sleep, etc) but usually, when he's hypomanic, he works more and does a better job.
So- does anyone have any techniques for this? It would help at home and school. His IEP allows some (minimal) extension of time on projects due if he isn't stable, but I'd rather be using strategies that actually teach him how to do better about it- without stressing out and having a melt-down. It's difficult because on this issue, he just refuses to accept my guidance ahead of time. Then, if it's a project due at school and he only completes "minimally acceptable" because that's all the time he has left, he gets so upset that it isn't good enough, he'll refuse to turn it in or have a melt-down over that.
Suggestions?
Is it more of a typical teen thing than a difficult child thing- like sometimes we feel like we wouldn't mind doing something if we didn't feel like we had to? How do I get him out of this habit?
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