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Anyone MISS a toxic family member that you no longer see?
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 264806" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>You know, in a perfect world we would all have great families or, at the very least, ones that could communicate with each other and work things out. Too bad we don't live in a perfect world. As much as it hurts you, I would, as I'm sure you have done, make your own family. I have friends that I consider family more so than some of my actual family members. Some of these family members are people that live their life in a way that I don't agree with and others are just ones that we've never really been close. (On my mom's side alone, there are a lot of us. Mom is the youngest of 9, there are 18 grandchildren and over 40 great-grandkids) Yes, some of my relations are toxic too, nowhere near your situation, but they still have an affect. So, I just don't make the effort. There is one cousin that comes to mind....and "technically" he's a step-cousin that I acquired when I was 6. When I was a kid (he's about 10 years older than me) he was a blast and I always had fun around him. Now that I'm grown up, I see him for the person he really is. Manipulator, irresponsible, a taker, etc. I will occasionally run into him around the area and will talk to him but I don't tell him more than I need to. At the same time though, I miss who I thought he was and the fun we had when we were younger. There's just too much bad drama with him and I don't feel the need to participate. I've got enough drama of my own, thank you very much! LOL</p><p></p><p>Don't beat yourself up over these feelings. Whatever the situation, she's still your sister and you're allowed to love and miss her in whatever way you do. Do what you can to protect you but keep in mind...there is always the possibility of "some day". Chances may be slim, but the possibility is still there. You know?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 264806, member: 2459"] You know, in a perfect world we would all have great families or, at the very least, ones that could communicate with each other and work things out. Too bad we don't live in a perfect world. As much as it hurts you, I would, as I'm sure you have done, make your own family. I have friends that I consider family more so than some of my actual family members. Some of these family members are people that live their life in a way that I don't agree with and others are just ones that we've never really been close. (On my mom's side alone, there are a lot of us. Mom is the youngest of 9, there are 18 grandchildren and over 40 great-grandkids) Yes, some of my relations are toxic too, nowhere near your situation, but they still have an affect. So, I just don't make the effort. There is one cousin that comes to mind....and "technically" he's a step-cousin that I acquired when I was 6. When I was a kid (he's about 10 years older than me) he was a blast and I always had fun around him. Now that I'm grown up, I see him for the person he really is. Manipulator, irresponsible, a taker, etc. I will occasionally run into him around the area and will talk to him but I don't tell him more than I need to. At the same time though, I miss who I thought he was and the fun we had when we were younger. There's just too much bad drama with him and I don't feel the need to participate. I've got enough drama of my own, thank you very much! LOL Don't beat yourself up over these feelings. Whatever the situation, she's still your sister and you're allowed to love and miss her in whatever way you do. Do what you can to protect you but keep in mind...there is always the possibility of "some day". Chances may be slim, but the possibility is still there. You know? [/QUOTE]
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