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Anyone MISS a toxic family member that you no longer see?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 264807" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>My family is VERY toxic, too. I don't want to ever see or speak to my half-bro again. My mother on the other hand, I deal with differently. I have learned, through distance and time, to distinguish feelings about/for her and I deal with those differently. Sometimes I cry because I miss having a Mom (and Grandma to difficult child) who is the way I wish she would be. Sometimes I talk with her because I know that someday she'll be gone and even though she's ditzy and will NEVER see how self-centered she has spent her entire life or how much pain and conflict she has caused, etc, she diapered my rear, washed my clothes, etc, and once she is gone it will be too late to ever let her know that I do see and appreciate the things she DID do, Know what I mean?? I just had to learn how to establish my boundaries for our relationship based on who she really is and what I can expect from that, instead of trying to turn the relationship into what I wish it was. We will never have the relationship that I wish we did because she will never be the type of person that I wish she was.</p><p></p><p>ETA: Sometimes it helps to write one of those letters that you never intend to send.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 264807, member: 3699"] My family is VERY toxic, too. I don't want to ever see or speak to my half-bro again. My mother on the other hand, I deal with differently. I have learned, through distance and time, to distinguish feelings about/for her and I deal with those differently. Sometimes I cry because I miss having a Mom (and Grandma to difficult child) who is the way I wish she would be. Sometimes I talk with her because I know that someday she'll be gone and even though she's ditzy and will NEVER see how self-centered she has spent her entire life or how much pain and conflict she has caused, etc, she diapered my rear, washed my clothes, etc, and once she is gone it will be too late to ever let her know that I do see and appreciate the things she DID do, Know what I mean?? I just had to learn how to establish my boundaries for our relationship based on who she really is and what I can expect from that, instead of trying to turn the relationship into what I wish it was. We will never have the relationship that I wish we did because she will never be the type of person that I wish she was. ETA: Sometimes it helps to write one of those letters that you never intend to send. [/QUOTE]
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Anyone MISS a toxic family member that you no longer see?
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