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Anyone MISS a toxic family member that you no longer see?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 265005" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Wow. Great thoughts.</p><p>Flutterby, I like your attitude. I actually can detach when I have to. I have a harder time with my sister because we can have a BLAST together. It's hard to remember that the sister who is so much fun and who I love so much (I still love her) is willing to go so far as to call the cops on me because I leave a message on her answering machine. She would never do this if an annoying friend did something that bugged her. She just did it because it was me. And to try to get my dad to dislike me just shocked me. She had no idea what was going on in my head, yet she assumed. Words can't describe how shocked I am that she really thought I wasn't going to his party because he didn't offer to buy me a mansion...lol. I know how he is. He doesn't like to part with his money. The truth is, I was terrified of not having a place to live and in no shape to go anywhere. In fact, my therapist was so afraid for me that she was threatening to put me in the hospital. To stay out of the hospital, hub had to take two days off of work to watch me until she felt I was not a threat to myself. I wasn't suicidal, but you know how therapists are: She was afraid that I was.</p><p>The last time I went to a family event when I was unstable, was after my beloved grandmother's funeral. As usual, my mother started picking on me and my son. I lost it and upset everybody, and I promised myself that, no matter how importat the family affair was, I would NEVER show up again if I wasn't stable. No matter what. It's unkind to others and to myself to show up when I could lose it. And if I was in that state of mind, going to the surprise party would have been worse than canceling it. However, they could have had the party without me. All my kids were going, plus I was sending my hub and two kids who live with me. PLUS...I was much better by the party and would have gone myself. I felt more stable.</p><p>I am always both amused and shocked at the motives that my Sis and Bro attribute to me. My Bro doesn't know any better. I haven't been close to him in years. But my sister SHOULD know better. If she doesn't, well, then she will never know me at all. I, however, used to think she was the normal one. She's not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 265005, member: 1550"] Wow. Great thoughts. Flutterby, I like your attitude. I actually can detach when I have to. I have a harder time with my sister because we can have a BLAST together. It's hard to remember that the sister who is so much fun and who I love so much (I still love her) is willing to go so far as to call the cops on me because I leave a message on her answering machine. She would never do this if an annoying friend did something that bugged her. She just did it because it was me. And to try to get my dad to dislike me just shocked me. She had no idea what was going on in my head, yet she assumed. Words can't describe how shocked I am that she really thought I wasn't going to his party because he didn't offer to buy me a mansion...lol. I know how he is. He doesn't like to part with his money. The truth is, I was terrified of not having a place to live and in no shape to go anywhere. In fact, my therapist was so afraid for me that she was threatening to put me in the hospital. To stay out of the hospital, hub had to take two days off of work to watch me until she felt I was not a threat to myself. I wasn't suicidal, but you know how therapists are: She was afraid that I was. The last time I went to a family event when I was unstable, was after my beloved grandmother's funeral. As usual, my mother started picking on me and my son. I lost it and upset everybody, and I promised myself that, no matter how importat the family affair was, I would NEVER show up again if I wasn't stable. No matter what. It's unkind to others and to myself to show up when I could lose it. And if I was in that state of mind, going to the surprise party would have been worse than canceling it. However, they could have had the party without me. All my kids were going, plus I was sending my hub and two kids who live with me. PLUS...I was much better by the party and would have gone myself. I felt more stable. I am always both amused and shocked at the motives that my Sis and Bro attribute to me. My Bro doesn't know any better. I haven't been close to him in years. But my sister SHOULD know better. If she doesn't, well, then she will never know me at all. I, however, used to think she was the normal one. She's not. [/QUOTE]
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