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Anyone MISS a toxic family member that you no longer see?
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<blockquote data-quote="cakewalk" data-source="post: 265194" data-attributes="member: 7060"><p>MWM - My answer to the thread question is NO WAY. I walked from my family a couple of years ago. The only regret I have is that they now have my son (difficult child 17).</p><p> </p><p>A few years ago, my mom called a family meeting at my house because she and my brother had been in a two year fight with my sister and hadn't spoken. I didn't want anything to do with the family meeting since I didn't have a problem with anyone at the time. We all gathered in my living room, my mom started her meeting by pointing at <u>me</u> and saying, "YOU. You are the problem in this family. You always have been." The attack came fast and furious. </p><p> </p><p>Now, looking back, my "academy award performance" should have been me walking to my front door and telling them all to leave. I didn't. My sister's husband of (then) 17 years tried to say something to my mom, who yelled, "Shut up! You aren't a part of this family!" He stood up and walked out the front door. My sister stood up, stomped her foot and yelled to my mother, "You're mean!" and followed her husband out the door. My other sister and brother sat on the couch without as much as saying a word. </p><p> </p><p>I ended up kicking my mother out of my house, throwing her milk, cheese, and bread out the door behind her. Immature on my part, I know! (Because I had been divorced with two kids, everytime my mother came to my house over seven years, she brought bread, milk, and cheese...WIC food, you see.)</p><p> </p><p>The next day was Christmas. My mother showed up to my sister's for dinner with lots of presents and my sister welcomed her with open arms. I left immediately.</p><p> </p><p>Any conversation I've had with my family since, I hear the same "you are the problem in this family" and now I'm hearing it from my son. Why would I subject myself to that? Why would I miss that? I will never hear those words from their mouth's again. I will not give them that satisfaction. If I'm not a part of the family, how can I be the problem?</p><p> </p><p>I think in the moment now, "My academy performance is/should be..." and that is how I get through every day.</p><p> </p><p>MWM - I wish you wouldn't miss it. You are probably a much better person without them and thier influence! While there has been good and fun, does the good and happy outweigh the bad and pain? Only you can answer that question.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cakewalk, post: 265194, member: 7060"] MWM - My answer to the thread question is NO WAY. I walked from my family a couple of years ago. The only regret I have is that they now have my son (difficult child 17). A few years ago, my mom called a family meeting at my house because she and my brother had been in a two year fight with my sister and hadn't spoken. I didn't want anything to do with the family meeting since I didn't have a problem with anyone at the time. We all gathered in my living room, my mom started her meeting by pointing at [U]me[/U] and saying, "YOU. You are the problem in this family. You always have been." The attack came fast and furious. Now, looking back, my "academy award performance" should have been me walking to my front door and telling them all to leave. I didn't. My sister's husband of (then) 17 years tried to say something to my mom, who yelled, "Shut up! You aren't a part of this family!" He stood up and walked out the front door. My sister stood up, stomped her foot and yelled to my mother, "You're mean!" and followed her husband out the door. My other sister and brother sat on the couch without as much as saying a word. I ended up kicking my mother out of my house, throwing her milk, cheese, and bread out the door behind her. Immature on my part, I know! (Because I had been divorced with two kids, everytime my mother came to my house over seven years, she brought bread, milk, and cheese...WIC food, you see.) The next day was Christmas. My mother showed up to my sister's for dinner with lots of presents and my sister welcomed her with open arms. I left immediately. Any conversation I've had with my family since, I hear the same "you are the problem in this family" and now I'm hearing it from my son. Why would I subject myself to that? Why would I miss that? I will never hear those words from their mouth's again. I will not give them that satisfaction. If I'm not a part of the family, how can I be the problem? I think in the moment now, "My academy performance is/should be..." and that is how I get through every day. MWM - I wish you wouldn't miss it. You are probably a much better person without them and thier influence! While there has been good and fun, does the good and happy outweigh the bad and pain? Only you can answer that question. [/QUOTE]
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