Apartment search continues and I'm getting nervous.

[Californiablonde]

I am losing hope. I took a whole day off work yesterday to go looking at apartments and to go to a psychiatrist appointment. The places I'm looking at are either in the ghetto and not very safe to have difficult child living with me in, or they are way too expensive ($1500 for a one bedroom, yikes!) or they are all full and have waiting lists. I did find one place that I am applying to but I'm not very hopeful. The first thing the guy asked me when I went to apply yesterday was if I have good credit. Well I don't. Of course I lied to him and told him my credit was decent. I have a couple loan companies who are currently going after me and I know they are on my credit. He told me that good credit is a requirment. I didn't say much. Looked at the place. I really like it. It has a nice fireplace in the livingroom and the bedroom is big. It is in a nice quiet area in the city and it has a nice pool. And the price is right. So I am turning in my application today and hoping for the best.

When I talked to the guy yesterday, there was another man there applying for the same apartment. I am hoping this guy's credit is even worse than mine and I get in. There is also another apartment in the same complex that is going to become available on the 7th of April. I could always go for that one if the vacant one gets rented to the other person first. Only thing is I would have to sweet talk my apartment manager into letting me stay on an extra week since my lease is up March 31st. So I am hoping this manager at the place I am applying to overlooks a couple things on my credit and I get one of the two apartments that are available. So I am praying hard.

There is another very nice studio that I will be applying to if things don't work out at the one bedroom. I would prefer an actual one bedroom apartment but I may have to accept a studio apartment if I can't find anything else. The studio in a very nice upscale area with two pools, a tennis court, fitness center, recreation center, and spa. My mom is offering to help me buy a pull out futon for difficult child and I to sleep on because the queen sized bed we have now would never fit in there. So it's either the one bedroom that requires good credit or the studio in the very nice area. If I don't get either one of those places I think I have exhausted all possibities for the city I am trying to move to. I may have to rethink location and keep difficult child at the same school she's at now if I can't find anything by my work. I really don't want to stay where I'm at now but that might be my only option at this point. Where I'm at now is cheaper and there are more apartment complexes to choose from. So I am praying hard that I get something soon.

Also, tonight is the night ex and I tell easy child he is moving in with dad. Wish me luck on this one. I am very nervous. I have no idea how he is going to react. He has already told me repeatedly that he does not want to live with him. I don't know how I am going to explain to him that it's the best thing for him right now to live with a man he does not have a connection to and having to move to a brand new school where he doesn't know anybody. In my heart I know that right now it's the best thing, but trying to explain it to easy child will be difficult. So today I am feeling very stressed out for several different reasons. psychiatrist decided yesterday to keep me on Saphris for several more weeks to see if it does me any good. As far as my rapid cycling, he is blaming it all on the Paxil and he reduced my dosage in half. If my mood stabilizes he has agreed to let me try Focalin for the ADD. It works so well for easy child that I am hoping it works for me too. So I am unstable with three weeks to find a place to live and having to explain to my son, who is very attached to me, that it is best for him to live somewhere else. The pressure is on but I'm staying as strong as I can.

 

[Marcie Mac]

Try calling some credit repair places. Danny worked at one which helped repair credit but also had rental listings. I don't know if he used them to rent his own place - I don't think his credit is stellar either - but the place he worked at helped him clean up his credit so he could rent the house he is living in now.

Marcie

 

[Californiablonde]

Well my mom just dropped off the application for me and the manager told her that the guy who applied for it yesterday doesn't have very good credit. So if he won't rent to him then I doubt he will rent to me. Who knows? Maybe my credit is better than the other guy. I sure hope so. I really want this place and I'm running out of options.

 

[GoingNorth]

CB,

If you haven't done so yet, pull your credit reports from all three credit reporting agencies. It is possible for them to make mistakes and you have the right to correct those. The loans you didn't pay off, let alone pay in a timely matter are a big black mark. You can't get those off your credit report, but you can submit letters of explanation as to why you didn't pay them off which might help a little.

If you don't have credit cards, try to see if you qualify for a secured credit card. That is where you put down a deposit that equals the line of credit you want to have.

I re-established my credit using a secured MasterCard. Once I paid my bills in full monthly for a year and a half, I was able to qualify for credit cards with decent interest rates.

As soon as a qaulified and had decent credit again, I closed the secured account and got my deposit refunded.

Doing that takes time you don't have, but I advise it as a future plan. If you are turned down for a job or rental due to bad credit, you have the right to pull your credit reports for free.

Avoid the various 'free credit scores' emails and advertisements that you see. Those will give you a free credit score if you sign up with their service for a year.

 

[Marcie Mac]

AnnualCreditReport.com is free and you can check three of the major credit agencies. I run one every year just to check my credit. There are no hidden charges - the one thing they do not provide free is your credit score.

Marcie

 

[DDD]

Is it possible to have your Mom as a cosigner? I'm sorry so much is hitting you at once. Sending supportive thoughts. DDD

 

[recoveringenabler]

CB, is DDD's suggestion that your Mom co-sign for you an option? That may get you in to this apartment you like now and then you can work on repairing your credit.

 

[bby31288]

I'm surprised the apartment manager was so free with his information concerning the other applicant to your mother!! Geesh what is with people. Here's to hoping maybe your mom can consign or that the apartment manager doesn't blab your private information!

 

[DDD]

Just had another idea. Can your son take the cat with him to his Dad's?? It he loves the cat it would be a win/win. If not I'd be looking for a new home for the cat so you don't have the disadvantage of being a pet owner when applying for an apartment. Most landlords know that pets result in problems and you want to appear as a "problem free' tenant.
DDD

 

[Liahona]

How are you doing? How did the talk with easy child go?

 

[DDD]

I'm curious how the "talk" went, also. Hugs DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

Im sorry things are so hard right now. Have you considered looking into mobile home parks? You might find them a bit more lenient. I dont know about your area obviously but some places have really nice parks. You would also get more than a one bedroom.

 

[Californiablonde]

Well I am anxiously awaiting pins and needles to see if I got the apartment. I am supposed to hear back today at the latest. So if I hear nothing by the end of the day I will be calling him. As far as cosigning, my mom will not agree to it. Even if it was an option her answer is no. She knows how much I struggle financially and she is not willing to put her name on the line. So I will have to do this on my own. IF I don't get this place I have another option which is a very nice studio. Problem is these places are charging me close to $40 for application fee, a fee that I don't get back, just to run my credit. So I really hope I qualify for something soon before I waste away too much money. And as far as the cat goes, she stays with us. My ex is a total 100% animal hater. He shoots dogs and cats with bb guns when they come on his yard. Living with him is not an option. Most places I am looking at accept cats so it's not an issue. I have grown attached to her and do not want to let her go. And as far as mobile homes, Janet, that's one route I have not thought about going, but now that you mention it I will look into it if this place doesn't come through.

As far as easy child, he took the news quite well. At first he did protest. Said he wanted to live with me. Then ex told him he would spend time with him, do things with him, etc, to make it sound good. easy child reluctantly agreed. Once he came back home after the weekend visit he reiterated to me that he wanted to live with me, but I told him to give his dad a fair chance at being a good role model for him and a good father. easy child seems okay now and he has grown to accept the idea. So no fits or anything like that. So I am grateful for that. I told difficult child about moving schools and suddenly now she has a couple of friends at her school that she doesn't want to leave. They are mentally ill boys who drink and smoke so I think this will be a good move for her all around. She finally accepted the idea even though she is a bit disappointed. She usually makes friends easily and I have faith that she will do just fine where I'm at. Really hoping for this apartment so wish me luck!

 

[Californiablonde]

As I am sitting here, anxiety level super high waiting for the aparment complex to call me back, I am attempting a conversation through text with ex explaining to him what an IEP is. He is clueless. Apparently he forgot everything he learned at difficult child's meeting a few months ago. He is very confused. He is asking why easy child can't enroll in school like a "normal child." Ugh! I am not into explaining things right now, but for my son's sake I am going to have to. My mom already talked to him a few months ago about the importance of maintaining his IEP. Apparently she didn't get through to him. Looks like I am going to have to contact the new school directly and explain everything to them myself.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Glad your kids adjusted to the new game plan so well, that will make it all easier. Keeping my fingers crossed for you to hear good news. If you don't today, my feeling is that there is a perfect place out there for you and easy child, you just haven't found it yet! (((HUGS)))

 

[DDD]

IF the pet becomes a problem find a good loving home and move on with your child. Sometimes simplifying our lives is a huge help in finding peace. "Maybe" if you do an automatic payment thru your bank to your Mom she would feel safer helping you out. It sure seems like she loves you alot. Hugs DDD

 

[Liahona]

I hope you get it! If you don't I'm glad you have a back up plan.

Maybe having the sp ed teacher at easy child's new school explain what an IEP is would help? If he gets the information from multiple people eventually it'll sink in. Its not something most parents are willing to hear so its hard for them to process.

 

[Californiablonde]

Well I never heard back from the apartments and when calling the phone just rings and rings. There is no answering machine. So I have a feeling I don't have the right number. I am going over there in person today to see if I can talk to the manager. I doubt I got the place if I haven't heard anything back by now, but I am going over there just to make sure before I move on and apply somewhere else. And now easy child is absolutely adamant he does not want to live with his dad. Came home from school yesterday demanding I go to court and fight for him to stay with me. I had to explain to him the best way I knew how that his dad and I both feel it's in his best interest at this point that he stay with his dad. I told him he needs a good man in his life and he immediately rejected that idea. Told me that if ex wants to have a child live with him so badly, then why not have difficult child live with him. I tried to explain all over again about the male bonding thing but easy child didn't buy it. So I contacted his dad and asked him to have a talk with easy child. Make it sound like living with him will be so much fun, explain the things they will do together as "boys," etc. His dad says he will talk to him soon about it. I sure hope he comes to accept it okay. As of now he is dead set against going. So I am praying he finally accepts it. Well it is about time for my lunch break so I am going to head over to the apartments now. Wish me luck!

 

[buddy]

I hope dad will learn about Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Poor kid, change is especially hard for someone on the spectrum.

 

[Californiablonde]

I definitely feel bad for him and even guilty but right now I feel like I don't have any other choice. I really hope his dad steps up to the plate and comes through like he is promised to do. I do think he can be a positive influence in his life if he chooses to be. I am going to enroll him at the new school on April 1st. I feel like I need to be there or ex will be clueless and let my son fall through the cracks. He is in all mainstreamed classes and doing well, but he still needs the IEP in place for special services. Hoping ex can fully understand easy child and all it entails to raise an aspie kid. Right now he just doesn't get it.