I am losing hope. I took a whole day off work yesterday to go looking at apartments and to go to a psychiatrist appointment. The places I'm looking at are either in the ghetto and not very safe to have difficult child living with me in, or they are way too expensive ($1500 for a one bedroom, yikes!) or they are all full and have waiting lists. I did find one place that I am applying to but I'm not very hopeful. The first thing the guy asked me when I went to apply yesterday was if I have good credit. Well I don't. Of course I lied to him and told him my credit was decent. I have a couple loan companies who are currently going after me and I know they are on my credit. He told me that good credit is a requirment. I didn't say much. Looked at the place. I really like it. It has a nice fireplace in the livingroom and the bedroom is big. It is in a nice quiet area in the city and it has a nice pool. And the price is right. So I am turning in my application today and hoping for the best. When I talked to the guy yesterday, there was another man there applying for the same apartment. I am hoping this guy's credit is even worse than mine and I get in. There is also another apartment in the same complex that is going to become available on the 7th of April. I could always go for that one if the vacant one gets rented to the other person first. Only thing is I would have to sweet talk my apartment manager into letting me stay on an extra week since my lease is up March 31st. So I am hoping this manager at the place I am applying to overlooks a couple things on my credit and I get one of the two apartments that are available. So I am praying hard. There is another very nice studio that I will be applying to if things don't work out at the one bedroom. I would prefer an actual one bedroom apartment but I may have to accept a studio apartment if I can't find anything else. The studio in a very nice upscale area with two pools, a tennis court, fitness center, recreation center, and spa. My mom is offering to help me buy a pull out futon for difficult child and I to sleep on because the queen sized bed we have now would never fit in there. So it's either the one bedroom that requires good credit or the studio in the very nice area. If I don't get either one of those places I think I have exhausted all possibities for the city I am trying to move to. I may have to rethink location and keep difficult child at the same school she's at now if I can't find anything by my work. I really don't want to stay where I'm at now but that might be my only option at this point. Where I'm at now is cheaper and there are more apartment complexes to choose from. So I am praying hard that I get something soon. Also, tonight is the night ex and I tell easy child he is moving in with dad. Wish me luck on this one. I am very nervous. I have no idea how he is going to react. He has already told me repeatedly that he does not want to live with him. I don't know how I am going to explain to him that it's the best thing for him right now to live with a man he does not have a connection to and having to move to a brand new school where he doesn't know anybody. In my heart I know that right now it's the best thing, but trying to explain it to easy child will be difficult. So today I am feeling very stressed out for several different reasons. psychiatrist decided yesterday to keep me on Saphris for several more weeks to see if it does me any good. As far as my rapid cycling, he is blaming it all on the Paxil and he reduced my dosage in half. If my mood stabilizes he has agreed to let me try Focalin for the ADD. It works so well for easy child that I am hoping it works for me too. So I am unstable with three weeks to find a place to live and having to explain to my son, who is very attached to me, that it is best for him to live somewhere else. The pressure is on but I'm staying as strong as I can.