HeadlightsMom
Well-Known Member
Interesting question.....and I appreciated hearing everyone's answers.
We've been married nearly 25 years. We had miscarriages, so we chose to adopt difficult child. We knew he was a difficult child going into this (however, I confess, we had NO idea to what extent.....honestly, we were naive....very loving, but very naive).
But we had an advantage going into this, in one way -- we knew there would be extra challenges from the get-go. So husband and I intentionally sat down and made 2 commitments:
1) If someone had to go, it would be difficult child. We were sticking together, no matter what. difficult child left at age 16. husband and I never ever contemplated divorce. However....there were times when difficult child events did test us!
2) We decided that even if it all went to the worst scenarios (which, at times, in a way, it has), that we would always tell ourselves, "At least we gave him a childhood." And we did. I'm guessing you all did, too. That's important to remember!
Lastly, I'm a firm believer in life's trifecta --- Nature, Nurture and Free Will. Sometimes there's so much debate about Nature and Nurture. Conveniently, Free Will gets overlooked. Every person, every situation differs. But it's always good to consider all 3.
Side Note -- I have so, so, SO much respect for single parents -- raising any kids, let alone raising difficult child's! My gosh, single parents deserve a standing ovation in my eyes! True, that!
We've been married nearly 25 years. We had miscarriages, so we chose to adopt difficult child. We knew he was a difficult child going into this (however, I confess, we had NO idea to what extent.....honestly, we were naive....very loving, but very naive).
But we had an advantage going into this, in one way -- we knew there would be extra challenges from the get-go. So husband and I intentionally sat down and made 2 commitments:
1) If someone had to go, it would be difficult child. We were sticking together, no matter what. difficult child left at age 16. husband and I never ever contemplated divorce. However....there were times when difficult child events did test us!
2) We decided that even if it all went to the worst scenarios (which, at times, in a way, it has), that we would always tell ourselves, "At least we gave him a childhood." And we did. I'm guessing you all did, too. That's important to remember!
Lastly, I'm a firm believer in life's trifecta --- Nature, Nurture and Free Will. Sometimes there's so much debate about Nature and Nurture. Conveniently, Free Will gets overlooked. Every person, every situation differs. But it's always good to consider all 3.
Side Note -- I have so, so, SO much respect for single parents -- raising any kids, let alone raising difficult child's! My gosh, single parents deserve a standing ovation in my eyes! True, that!
