are hormones the main problem?

[ksm]

Or do hormones just complicate all the other problems?

Just curious as our 13yo difficult child (adopted dgd) has been over the top this last year. When I talked to her other grandma - it sounds like it was about the same age when our difficult child's biomom became an official difficult child. Xdil is bipolar and addiction issues and her mom talks like st started at about the same age. Our difficult child started her cycle 7 months ago at age 12 - but has not had a second period since. We saw a pediatrician a couple months ago for school physical - and she said it was normal to have a very irregular cycle for the first couple of years. But 7 months?

Just curious if other moms of teen girls noticed a drastic change at about the same time? Of course, I know that girl drama is "normal" at this age - but ours is over the top. thanks! ksm

 

[KTMom91]

14 was about when Miss KT started becoming impossible.

 

[HaoZi]

I cannot express how much I dread Kiddo hitting PMS and whatnot.

 

[TeDo]

I have noticed the same thing with mine. Everything was pure difficult child up until about 12 1/2. Then things became awful.

diagnosis + puberty (and all the associated baggage) = diagnosis times 100. UGH

Someone tell me puberty ends by 14. LOL

 

[gcvmom]

Hormones just make things worse in a difficult child -- they don't cause the difficult child-ness.

As for the 7-month menstrual hiatus, that's not abnormal at all for girls first starting out. Unless you think she's become sexually active suddenly and suspect a pregnancy... just had to throw that out there. I was very irregular with my periods until I had kids, so there's another example of a body marching to it's own beat.

 

[keista]

I think the hormones complicate the other problems as well as bring out problems of their own. Makes it really difficult to differentiate other mental health issues form hormone related ones - PMS and PMDD. Those are very cyclical but until a girl's period becomes regular, it's hard to tell what is causing what.

DD1 is 10, and I'm just holding my breath and waiting for her first period (physically she looks 12-13 and teenager attitude is OBVIOUS)

 

[confuzzled]

it went to h&ll in a handbag here too.

i posted a l-o-n-g reply on the watercooler about the crazy length of cycles in girls because i was as horrified as you--and my pediatrician told us the same thing--that its not abnormal for lengthy intervals between periods. mine got hers at 11, and now she's 12.5 and i think maybe she's had 5 total with no rhyme or reason to when it comes. it might have been 7 months between the first and the next here too. i bring it up regularly at the pediatrician, and they are NOT concerned. (i feel like a nut-irregular to me means you have a 28 day cycle, a 40 day cycle, maybe skip a month, and a 30 day cycle--not months of no period, lol, i never knew a single person who just skipped multiple months on end).

just wanted to let you know you arent alone.

 

[keista]

i never knew a single person who just skipped multiple months on end

My BFF does. She's got polycystic ovary syndrome. Interesting thing is that she was much more regular (not completely) at puberty and then at around 18 it started going completely haywire.

 

[BusynMember]

Agree that the body changes make difficult child-ism worse. My oldest daughter started getting way out of control when she got her period, but she was sensitive and moody before then. The drugs started with the period.

On the other hand, my second daughter was smooth sailing before she got her period and still is. She isn't moody at all. And she hasn't gotten into any trouble.

 

[ksm]

Hormones just make things worse in a difficult child -- they don't cause the difficult child-ness.

As for the 7-month menstrual hiatus, that's not abnormal at all for girls first starting out. Unless you think she's become sexually active suddenly and suspect a pregnancy... just had to throw that out there. I was very irregular with my periods until I had kids, so there's another example of a body marching to it's own beat.

It hasn't just been 7months... she just has never had a 2nd one. And to complicate the matters more - DGD#2 just had her first one at age 11 (just truned 11 in June) difficult child started hers as 12ys and 10months. Now she has one more thing to compare herself to her younger sibling. It never ends. Luckily, at this point I am not concerned with a pregnancy as we keep really close tabs on her and she doesn't have a boyfriend at this point. Of course, she desparately wants one so she can be "cool at school". I am afraid that she will not handle that type of pressure from a boy in the future - she SO wants to fit in and be "popular". She looks like she could be one of the popular kids - but she comes across as moody and I don't think even other girls want to deal with her. ksm

 

[InsaneCdn]

It hasn't just been 7months... she just has never had a 2nd one. And to complicate the matters more - DGD#2 just had her first one at age 11 (just truned 11 in June) difficult child started hers as 12ys and 10months. Now she has one more thing to compare herself to her younger sibling

Heaven help the tween girl with a younger sister hot on her heels.
Tweens do NOT believe in statistics. So, you can't really explain to them that some start at 10 and some don't start until 15 and it really isn't a problem.
If there's already comparison and competition between them, it makes everything worse.
(I've always been thankful to have one of each and no duplicates... and that was before we knew we were a house of difficult children!)
I can't believe that its such a big deal in school these days - but it is. This part isn't a problem for K2, but the pressure - at age 11, no less - to wear a bra (and show it off by wearing sleazy clothes), to shave their legs, to be going to the tanning salon, etc. is absolutely immense. And I have no idea how or why... except that parents seem to be either allowing or encouraging. Back in my day, all this stuff was totally HUSH.

So, your equation is more complex than what you were given... it isn't "just" GFGness, or GFGness + puberty.
Its...
GFGness + puberty + peer pressure = <ugh!>

Yes, hormones make things worse - even for normal kids.
Yes, GFGness is affected by hormones.
And peer pressure + GFGness is also a problem - even when hormones are not involved.

Hormones are not likely to be the MAIN problem... more likely, a magnifying glass on any other problem that exists.

Hang in there!

 

[keista]

but the pressure - at age 11, no less - to wear a bra

I wish I had such peer pressure issues here. DD1 and at least two of her friends REFUSE to wear bras, and they desperately NEED them. Hopefully things will shift this year as more girls start developing (5th grade!)

Years ago I was concerned with what our school was doing wrong because the 5th and 6th grades were filled with girls that I was certain got held back 2-3 years - they all looked 13-14. Now seeing DD1 I know it's the girls, not the school.

 

[ksm]

I wish I had such peer pressure issues here. DD1 and at least two of her friends REFUSE to wear bras, and they desperately NEED them. Hopefully things will shift this year as more girls start developing (5th grade!).

It is amazing how young girls are maturing now! I think 13/14 was average when I was young. Now it so much younger... so even more years of dealing with raging hormones in girls. Not sure if the same thing happens with boys earlier or not. KSM

 

[keista]

ksm, not in my experience. Son was right on target. A bit faster than many of his peers but right on with normal averages.(I actually think the boys are slowing down and maturing even later now)

I've seen discussion about girls being faster, but not boys being slower. It would make sense though, if all the 'chemicals' we are exposing our kids to are acting like female hormones. That would rush the girls and delay or stunt the boys.

 

[hearts and roses]

Ditto with my difficult child, hormonal changes upset everything, every time, still to this day. Her monthly really sends her over the edge, though not as bad as between the ages of 13-18. When she was on the depo shot (which I would think unreasonable for a 13 y/o), she was great.