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Are Internet Behavior Programs Worth Buying?
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<blockquote data-quote="So Tired" data-source="post: 155163" data-attributes="member: 4772"><p>Welcome Grant. I hope you find some ideas here that work for you. </p><p> </p><p>I actually purchased the "Total Transformation" program when my son was 17. It is pretty expensive -- about $300 but I found it helpful. Mostly it helped me see how <u>MY</u> behaviors were escalating the problems. I will give you a concrete example: before I used to nag and nag at my son to complete his household chores, causing many arguments and alot of times it would often end in a screaming match. After reading the reading the total transformation, I learned to give him a deadline, say 5:00 on Sunday night. If the chores weren't done by then, he would have to pay me out of his allowance. It was very difficult that first Sunday not to remind him, especially as the clock ticked closer to the deadline. 4:30, he's sitting goofing on the computer and I'm biting my tongue. 4:45 still no action from him and it's using all my self control not to say anything. Finally at 4:50 he springs into action to run around the house and do his chores. Not the time frame I would have chosen, but it puts the responsibility on him and takes my nagging out of the equation. It helped me detach from the emotion of the situation. We are still have issuses with my son, but they no longer escalate into actual physical confrontations because I have learned not to fall into the trap of argueing with him. The rules are well known, and so are the consequences.</p><p> </p><p>There is also a lot of good information in the archives here, but most helpful is the support and kindness of the other members who understand how exhausting it is to be living in a battle zone every day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="So Tired, post: 155163, member: 4772"] Welcome Grant. I hope you find some ideas here that work for you. I actually purchased the "Total Transformation" program when my son was 17. It is pretty expensive -- about $300 but I found it helpful. Mostly it helped me see how [U]MY[/U] behaviors were escalating the problems. I will give you a concrete example: before I used to nag and nag at my son to complete his household chores, causing many arguments and alot of times it would often end in a screaming match. After reading the reading the total transformation, I learned to give him a deadline, say 5:00 on Sunday night. If the chores weren't done by then, he would have to pay me out of his allowance. It was very difficult that first Sunday not to remind him, especially as the clock ticked closer to the deadline. 4:30, he's sitting goofing on the computer and I'm biting my tongue. 4:45 still no action from him and it's using all my self control not to say anything. Finally at 4:50 he springs into action to run around the house and do his chores. Not the time frame I would have chosen, but it puts the responsibility on him and takes my nagging out of the equation. It helped me detach from the emotion of the situation. We are still have issuses with my son, but they no longer escalate into actual physical confrontations because I have learned not to fall into the trap of argueing with him. The rules are well known, and so are the consequences. There is also a lot of good information in the archives here, but most helpful is the support and kindness of the other members who understand how exhausting it is to be living in a battle zone every day. [/QUOTE]
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