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Are Marriges Really This Way?
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 600384" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Like most things, this isn't all-or-nothing either.</p><p>An abusive relationship is about power and control. It doesn't have to be physical, to be abusive. But... a relationship can be physical, without being abusive.</p><p></p><p>I'm a "physical" person - tend to get "in your face", 'hands-on".</p><p>As a result... we have a physical relationship.</p><p>In our case, it's not about the stronger one putting the weaker one down. husband tones back his strength to match mine. But we can have a good tussle... and I DO end up with bruises. (Tends to happen when your shoulder or hip hits the furniture...) We don't do it in anger, it's more a way of working off tension. It just happens to work for us. But... add to that the fact that I bruise really easily, you can see why I hate changing family doctors. (They have to get to know husband before they believe me about where all the bruises come from. Its amazing how much a doorknob bruise looks like a fist bruise... and how many are self-inflicted)</p><p>The key factor? Either one of us can call it off, and the other one stops NOW.</p><p> </p><p>In an abusive relationship, the stronger one will NOT stop until THEY want to.</p><p> </p><p>And in my opinion? I'm on your page in the sense that unequal power struggles in a relationship are NOT healthy, much less "normal".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 600384, member: 11791"] Like most things, this isn't all-or-nothing either. An abusive relationship is about power and control. It doesn't have to be physical, to be abusive. But... a relationship can be physical, without being abusive. I'm a "physical" person - tend to get "in your face", 'hands-on". As a result... we have a physical relationship. In our case, it's not about the stronger one putting the weaker one down. husband tones back his strength to match mine. But we can have a good tussle... and I DO end up with bruises. (Tends to happen when your shoulder or hip hits the furniture...) We don't do it in anger, it's more a way of working off tension. It just happens to work for us. But... add to that the fact that I bruise really easily, you can see why I hate changing family doctors. (They have to get to know husband before they believe me about where all the bruises come from. Its amazing how much a doorknob bruise looks like a fist bruise... and how many are self-inflicted) The key factor? Either one of us can call it off, and the other one stops NOW. In an abusive relationship, the stronger one will NOT stop until THEY want to. And in my opinion? I'm on your page in the sense that unequal power struggles in a relationship are NOT healthy, much less "normal". [/QUOTE]
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